Damned If You Do And Damned If You Don't

Being a Republican atheist is a tricky proposition:

On the one hand, I'll never be accused by Osama bin Laden of being the pal-that-let-him-down.

But - on the other hand - I'll never be accepted by that sizable portion of the GOP that believes Jesus-is-the-only-way. (Man, I hate beliefs.)

Then there's liberals - claiming to be atheist while biting hard on God/Gods-worshiping new wage stuff - who busy themselves attacking Christians with a ferocity that I can't be bothered with. (I grew up in a country based, loosely, on Judeo-Christian values - and I like 'em.)

But there's also conservatives, who rail against the extremes of homosexuality, but still get caught in bathroom stalls and the like. (BTW, I'm not homophobic, I just don't care for the extremes,...like people obnoxiously fishing for dates in smelly public bathrooms while I'm trying to pee - Ew.)

I'm shocked that so many scientists (who want to be trusted as unbiased observers of the natural world) appear to be such extreme liberals - even to the point of being willing to join with NewAgers on some issues - like authoritarian population control measures due to Global Warming.

But I'm also shocked that, long after the Scopes Monkey Trial, so many Christian conservatives are still trying to push the stupidly-named idea of Intelligent Design.

And I'm glad the government is finally taking religious materials out of prisons.

But I'm also glad we have prisons.

I think Oprah Winfrey is an evil, corrosive, corrupting influence on America.

I feel the same way about the likes of Peter Popoff.

I could go on and on and on:

As usual, it'll probably take a while for y'all to catch up to: