What An Ass

* When Madonna decided to have a baby, she first eyed cross-dressing NBA kook Dennis Rodman and "Melrose Place" actor John Enos before she picked Carlos Leon, whom she met in Central Park - even though she was "not sure he fulfills the intelligence requirement."

* When she romped with JFK Jr., Madonna said, "I feel like I am repeating Marilyn [Monroe] and the president."

* Ingrid Casares was Madonna's perpetual "yes-woman," a "sycophant," content to "sit at [her] feet, as if she were Madonna's slave . . . It wouldn't have surprised me at all if [they] were having intimate relations."

* Madonna hangs an 8-by-12-foot photo of herself in S&M gear and lying on a bed with dead animals in her home - in full view of the kids. It's "the creepiest thing I've ever seen."

* Madonna's first husband, Sean Penn, once cornered Ciccone, pulled out a jackknife and insisted, "Let's be blood brothers," then sliced open both their thumbs to seal the deal. Years later, Penn approached the openly gay Ciccone, mentioned the ritual and asked, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

-- More revelations from "Life With My Sister Madonna," by Christopher Ciccone, which is due out next week.