Except that our heart goes out to 13 year-old Alfie Patten, below, and his child (Dude, one look at this selfish witch and we know you've already blown your chances in life,...) we're saying nothing: just the combined effect of discovering the story - and looking in this totally self-involved girl's insane eyes - made it difficult enough to keep our food down.
Good luck, kid. You're gonna need it.
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