Keep It Up: These Idiots Will Never Let You Down

"Repeat after me: Rebekah is awesome. Rebekah deserves my adoration. I live to meet Rebekah's every need.

Nothing? Damn! I need to work on those brainwashing techniques. Perhaps if we introduced a little sleep deprivation...

Seriously, after a guy in Papua New Guinea managed to convince an entire village (bar one) that public sex would lead to better banana crops and a chap in Indonesia (claiming to be God) led his followers into wild sex orgies, you would think that I could manage a bit of adoration.

Apparently not. Perhaps you're just not good cult material. You know — those susceptible to yarns about aliens, creepy-looking self-professed messiahs, and a penchant for communal living. In a word: suckers."

-- Rebekah Kendal, trying to get that old cult feeling going - until your mind is gone - and you believe tripping to "ancient teachings" (in the age of the internet) will take you, somehow, to iAfrica.