Working On It

I don't exactly want to do this now, but I feel like I've been derelict in my "spiritual" duties:

"Noisy white-robed religious sect keeps residents awake with woodland prayers and chanting at 5.30am"

"KUMBAYA" IS WRONG AT ANY HOUR:

House of Judah: What police found at the cult's Allegan County compound"

JELLO - JUST LIKE MORMONS - THEY LIKE JELLO:

"Jehovah’s Witness blood transfusions: How a doctor works around doctrine."

IT'S NOT BLOOD - IT'S CHERRY FLAVORED KOOL-AID:

"World's first religious vending machine installed in church to sell holy accessories to worshippers"

"MOM, CAN I HAVE A QUARTER FOR THE CROSS MACHINE?"

"When Buddhists Go Bad: Photographs by Adam Dean"

BALDHEADED GUYS MAKING SURE WE KNOW WHAT SUFFERING IS:

"Ancient Egyptian statue has started MOVING sparking fears it has been struck by a 'curse of the Pharaohs'

AS CURSES GO, A MOVING STATUE IS PRETTY LAME - WHERE'S THE PSYCHIC CLAIMING SHE HAS TO "CLEANSE" YOUR MONEY?

"Companies like Lululemon take different approach to relationships with employees"

JOIN OUR CULT OR YOU'RE FIRED:

"The 'Christian movement' that tells husbands to SPANK their wives 'to correct misbehavior'"

AND WHEN SHE HAS A 'BOWEL MOVEMENT' WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT, BLAME GOD:

"Vendetta against psychic conman Paul Williams"

HE'S TELEPATHICALLY CONTACTING EDWARD SNOWDEN ON WHERE TO RUN:

"Examiner writer joins documentary tour exposing Scientology - Canada cult

CANADA!?! NOT CANADA!! YOU GUYS WILL TALK THROUGH ANYTHING!!!

My God, we're stupid: 

 I highly recommend you join one of these groups - for assistance - immediately,...