When I'm Blogging Homeless I'll Tell Everyone To Vote Conservative Because They Understand Us So Much

Here's a great story about a black guy who - as long as nobody knows him or his views - is now financially stable overnight:

Honesty really paid off for a homeless man in Boston who turned in a backpack worth nearly $42,000 earlier this week. Since his good deed, an online fundraiser had raised more than $92,000 for Glen James by early Thursday, and brought in offers from strangers who want to help the Good Samaritan by donating computers and offering health care services to him.

Strangers. That's the key.

They're even providing financial services.

Now if, just the day before, you had told any black person there's $92,000 waiting to raise them individually out of poverty - for doing what any honest person would do - nobody would've believed it. Because that's not the impression we want to give, is it? Of course not. Figments of the American imagination are laudable, real flesh-and-blood people? They can go to Hell.

I always ask, how do politicians raise multi-millions of dollars so quickly, when people are sleeping right outside our doors? Are those homeless honest? Are the politicians? (HA!) Do those homeless have to find a good deed to do for help? Why doesn't someone arrange a Candid Camera set-up and reward the honest folks?

I'd be rich!

And what are people paying Ann Althouse (who makes $177,000 a year at her job) and Glenn Reynolds for? Oh yeah - to alert them to Amazon's deals on dining room sets and give bad political advice.

That's how we raise the country up, and bring those outside the conservative tent in, correct?

Needless to say, there's enough of that going around already:

I tell y'all, conservatives have got this entire enterprise upside-fucking-down,...