The world I want to live in? I don't even dream about that sort of thing anymore. I don't want the torment of even dreaming about those sorts of things anymore -- if you think about it too much, then it can eat you up with wanting it badly. It's enough to think about surviving the world I live in right now ("survive" is a pretty big word -- that fellow at the beginning of the movie caught my ear: I get him at least in a little way; I savvy the big old hug, and glimpse the bile choked down if only through the glass darkly). As sure as the sun comes up in the east, tomorrow some poor damn slob will find himself on a trip to DCC (or maybe even Joliet if he really got himself in a pickle), and some other poor slob down here will be posited the notion, "well, maybe you should see if you can get on at the prison" -- after all, jobs are hard to come by, and they are usually hiring and pay well. And other people will talk about both (without ever actually talking to either), and their sports cars and Bellini shotguns, and the wonderful artisanal goat cheese they found at the quaint farmer's market (where some other poor slob's might be trying to peddle artsy bird houses or heirloom tomatoes -- certified organic! -- in an effort to make a bit more money, and thus not fall into the class of people who one way or another find themselves walking through the gates of DCC or Joliet). That's tangible; that's the way things are, and a person does their best to survive it. Even if they don't much care for a lot of it (most of it, all of it). And life as you'd like it to be might come with the peace of the grave... if you're lucky.
The world I want to live in?
ReplyDeleteI don't even dream about that sort of thing anymore. I don't want the torment of even dreaming about those sorts of things anymore -- if you think about it too much, then it can eat you up with wanting it badly.
It's enough to think about surviving the world I live in right now ("survive" is a pretty big word -- that fellow at the beginning of the movie caught my ear: I get him at least in a little way; I savvy the big old hug, and glimpse the bile choked down if only through the glass darkly).
As sure as the sun comes up in the east, tomorrow some poor damn slob will find himself on a trip to DCC (or maybe even Joliet if he really got himself in a pickle), and some other poor slob down here will be posited the notion, "well, maybe you should see if you can get on at the prison" -- after all, jobs are hard to come by, and they are usually hiring and pay well.
And other people will talk about both (without ever actually talking to either), and their sports cars and Bellini shotguns, and the wonderful artisanal goat cheese they found at the quaint farmer's market (where some other poor slob's might be trying to peddle artsy bird houses or heirloom tomatoes -- certified organic! -- in an effort to make a bit more money, and thus not fall into the class of people who one way or another find themselves walking through the gates of DCC or Joliet).
That's tangible; that's the way things are, and a person does their best to survive it. Even if they don't much care for a lot of it (most of it, all of it). And life as you'd like it to be might come with the peace of the grave... if you're lucky.
PW