When Whites Who "Don't Think About Race" Are Forced

A lot of assholes say this, thinking they're clever.

Even a child can see this situation is screwy:

Don’t ever tell my daughter she’s blessed to be here.

She doesn’t see it that way.  Every day she’s trying to figure out what happened.  She’s asking questions, trying to understand why she isn’t with her first mommy, the one who looks like her.  And she’s recently discovered that she’s in a white family.

I mean.  No adoption seminar on transracial parenting will prepare you for your daughter realizing she has a freaking white mom.  This is hard for her.

Recently she peeled back my eyelids one morning and asked why she’s the only “brown person” in the family.  She and I started naming all the “brown people” in our life — friends, neighbors, people at our church, people at school,…

But no matter how many “brown people” I name and how many “brown” children we adopt or foster, I will always be her white mom and she will always long for her first mom.

The number of foster homes, I was in, never changed my sense of identity,...