Showing posts with label rebecca walker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rebecca walker. Show all posts

Friday, May 23, 2008

Purple Reign

The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother - thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman.

My mum taught me that children enslave women.

I was raised to believe that women need men like a fish needs a bicycle.

Feminism has much to answer for denigrating men and encouraging women to seek independence whatever the cost to their families.

It was drummed into me that being a mother, raising children and running a home were a form of slavery.

I honestly believe it's time to puncture the myth and to reveal what life was really like to grow up as a child of the feminist revolution.

Believing that women are suppressed, she has campaigned for their rights around the world and set up organisations to aid women abandoned in Africa - offering herself up as a mother figure.

I came very low down in her priorities - after work, political integrity, self-fulfilment, friendships, spiritual life, fame and travel.

Is that independent, or just plain selfish?

I was 16 when I found a now-famous poem she wrote comparing me to various calamities that struck and impeded the lives of other women writers.

According to the strident feminist ideology of the Seventies, women were sisters first, and my mother chose to see me as a sister rather than a daughter.

The truth was I was very lonely and, with my mother's knowledge, started having sex at 13.

Now I simply cannot understand how she could have been so permissive.

A good mother is attentive, sets boundaries and makes the world safe for her child. But my mother did none of those things.

I organised an abortion myself.

For feminists to say that abortion carries no consequences is simply wrong.

As a child, I was terribly confused, because while I was being fed a strong feminist message, I actually yearned for a traditional mother.

My mother was the polar opposite.

When I hit my 20s and first felt a longing to be a mother, I was totally confused.

She sent me an e-mail, threatening to undermine my reputation as a writer.

She wrote me a letter saying that our relationship had been inconsequential for years and that she was no longer interested in being my mother.

I have since heard that my mother has cut me out of her will in favour of one of my cousins.

She has always had a strange competitiveness that led her to undermine me at almost every turn.

She finds it impossible to step out of the limelight, which is extremely ironic in light of her view that all women are sisters and should support one another.

I've done all I can to be a loyal, loving daughter, but I can no longer have this poisonous relationship destroy my life.

Yes, feminism has undoubtedly given women opportunities. It's helped open the doors for us at schools, universities and in the workplace. But what about the problems it's caused for my contemporaries?

The ease with which people can get divorced these days doesn't take into account the toll on children.

That's all part of the unfinished business of feminism.

Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating.

But far from taking responsibility for any of this, the leaders of the women's movement close ranks against anyone who dares to question them - as I have learned to my cost.

I don't want to hurt my mother, but I cannot stay silent.

I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results.

I am just so relieved that my viewpoint is no longer so utterly coloured by my mother's.

I am my own woman and I have discovered what really matters - a happy family.


-- All quotes from Rebecca Walker, author - and daughter of The Color Purple's Alice Walker - from The Daily Mail