Wednesday, January 2, 2008


""We have bagpipers march through the club to march out any bad energy and bring good energy for the club's opening. We want to create good energy. We had a Buddhist monk come in earlier today. He burned sage and blessed the club, worked with us on our energy, got our minds focused right. We did meditation and had acupuncture for all our key employees. It is important to us that there is no ego and we work as a team. So, we blessed the club as a family."

- Greg Jarmolowich, the very-superstitious managing director of Prive, a Las Vegas nightclub, describing the various silly rituals he undertook before opening night.

Notice that only the "key employees" got the acupuncture? That's how he's going to make a team of "equals". A team of equals where some get (useless) perks that the others don't. That's a sure way to eliminate egos, huh? (And can someone explain to me why bashing someone's ego, ambition, etc., is always so important to superstitious folk? Is it so they, who dictate how these things will go, can always stay on top?)

And how much did all this mumbo-jumbo cost? As managing director, I thought his job was to make the club money, not to start burning through it on nonsense before the place even opened. Yea, he's a real find, this guy.

After all my years in the music business, I guess I just don't understand nightclub culture like I thought,...yet, based on Jarmolowich's "spiritual" outlook, I still think I can guess who his opening act will be: Obviously, it has to be an artist that shares his beliefs, and is willing to "march through the club to march out any bad energy and bring good energy for the club's opening." Someone who will be enthusiastic about it even.

Yea, I know exactly who it'll be. I can see the in-house video advertisements playing right now: