Cartoons, Politics, Delusions, And Rims

Above is Scott McClellan. He is a cartoon. Here is actual footage of Scott, being a cartoon, at his former job:



Funny stuff. Whoo-hoo! Those were the days. They just don't make 'em like they used to. You know, Bugs Bunny and stuff. Now Bugs was wacky.

O.K., now this, my friends, is Karl Rove. He's a real person. (Notice the animated 3-D quality, as compared to that photo of Scott: it's a giveaway.) Below is Karl at work, delivering Nazi propaganda through an organ of the Bush Administration, clearly smearing Richard Armitage, who never already admitted he was the leaker in the Valerie Plame Case:



See? Scott McClellan is a cartoon. So, what have we learned? I'll tell you: if you're going to mix cartoons into your real life - and you have a choice - stay away from Scott McClellan, and start watching Aqua Team Hunger Force, or something else weird, like this:

Well, well, well: according to Slate.com, writer Susan Neiman is "an American philosopher who runs the Einstein Forum in Potsdam, Germany, [who] worries that American progressives have drifted away from the values and intellectual traditions of the West, stretching from classical antiquity to the Enlightenment,.." which, if you ask me, would definitely explain the popularity of this guy:

And nonsense like homeopathy. Come on, Democrats, you don't want to be thought of like those Kenyans who burn witches, do you? Let me rephrase that:

You don't want me to have to set you on fire, do you?

Timothy McCall , an M.D. and yogi (or Boo-Boo) says "Yoga practitioners aren't waiting for the medical community to tell them what they already know." and "Yoga teaches us that the most reliable source of information is your direct experience."

And since I've never set a Democrat on fire,...

Speaking of setting people on fire, here's yet another scene from the red-hot R. Kelly Sex Trial:

[Sha'Dawn] Young looked at Melanie Ijaoba. They'd met that morning on the bus to the courthouse.

"When you were 15," Young asked, "how many older men came at you?"

"Lots."

"Did you have sex with them?"

"No," Ijaoba said. "Because God said no."

Young laughed. "I went to a Catholic school and God said no."

[Which TMR finds to be the: Worst. Excuse. Ever. But let's continue. Ladies:]

Both women said there are two kinds of older men who hit on underage girls. One is "Chester Molester."

"He's the one the girls don't want to be around," Young said, "who doesn't have the cool clothes. For girls to want you, you have to have the cute car with the rims."

"The cell phone and money in the pocket," Ijaoba said.

"You buy the girl a pair of gym shoes," Young said.

"A pair of jeans," Ijaoba said.

Got that, guys? American girls, raised in the feminist era, are giving up the nappy dugout for some gym shoes and a pair of jeans. Now - somebody - remind me why Oprah opened a school in Africa again? Oh yea, because of "empowering" scenes like this:

"AH, sweet, blessed memories of childhood. Steaming herbal tea. Hippie language police. Friends who had same-sex parents. Feminism, politics and books debated around the kitchen table every night. Also, Annie Baker said she used to wonder, precisely why were the typewritten fliers, push-pinned up in the local health food shop, 'always Xeroxed on purple paper with those little tear-off tabs at the bottom?'"

Yea, I've wondered about all that myself. But that was a long time ago. Now I want to be a foreigner! What can I say? I'm a macho guy and I don't fit in anymore. Hopefully the film, below, will explain everything: