Find A Yogi (Make A Boo-Boo)

"Forget brushing up on politics, current events and fine art. If you want to make a hit at a cocktail party these days, you need to get with the yogi program. And by "cocktail party", I mean not the sort where Extra Dry Gin Martinis are served up with baby lamb chops and oysters Rockefeller.

No.

By "cocktail party", I mean an early-evening (early evening so as not to interfere with the next morning's yoga practice) gathering of slender, well-muscled, women wearing deltoid-bearing halter tops and flowing, batik cotton skirts and skinny men wearing pants made of hemp, where the libation of choice is an organic red (preferably pinot noir) and the nibbles are vegan and spartan and inevitably involve humus.

Now, why would one care to fit in with such a rarified group? I suppose that depends on whom you're hoping to go home with that night."

-- Lauren Cahn, getting to the extremely-superficial crux of the matter, for The Huffington Post

I love it: you don't have to know anything about such stupid topics as "politics, current events and fine art," but that empty head of yours can still get lucky in certain "rarified" groups (no ego there, huh?) armed with only a knowledge of (expensive) ethnic clothing, the right (expensive) wine, starving yourself on (expensive) organic food, and a desire/willingness to fuck while standing on your head.

I swear, NewAge really is a paradise on earth.