There Is No God (But, If There Is, He's Down With Me)

I've been called John The Baptist several times, online, by deeply religious people who know I'm an atheist. But, while I've always found that flattering and heartwarming, it's also kinda weird to think about, and navigate emotionally. For instance, I haven't had a major problem with the theology of any Pope since John Paul:

"In comments likely to enhance his progressive reputation, Pope Francis has written a long, open letter to the founder of La Repubblica newspaper, Eugenio Scalfari, stating that non-believers would be forgiven by God if they followed their consciences."

Do you see what I mean?

Either I've got this shit figured out already, or Catholics and I now have a minor disagreement,...

 

A Post Revolving (Around Two Of My Sacred Cows,...)

Usually Christians compare me to John The Baptist, but now the cow's done it, and that illustrious endorsement makes me wonder if (as the NewAgers say) "I'm living up to my true potential." (Where's Jesus, looking for that head-bath, when I need him?)

On the other hand, there's this. Golly (as the Mormons say). 

Can't I just be Joseph Smith, with his "seer stone," and fleece everybody in sight?

Naw, not my style. Mr. Straight-Up Viking Death March, that's me, and - like Big Bad John - I'll probably be the one made to pay for it, so, like, whatever. (That fucking cow knows me too well - great music in that clip!) Let's change the subject - what's in The Crack Emcee's NewAge Grab Bag today?

In the Never-Seen-That-Coming Dept., The Greatest Love Of All, the one that was supposed to last “till death do us part and probably beyond,” has come to a shocking end.

That's right - after he "adopted some of the New Age terms" and (by so doing) completely destroyed his life, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter are no more. Which probably means hosting that TV show on relationships isn't in Rielle's future after all, darn it. (That advice would've been priceless!)

Like most NewAgers, I guess she'll just have to stay on that never-ending search:

And yes, kids, in case you haven't guessed already:

John The Fucking Baptist is cleaning out his YouTube file,…