Moonies! Mormons! Morons! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Good ol' Orrin Hatch. Mormon extraordinaire, and Mitt's fixer in Utah and Washington. Moon's death and the subsequent reminder of my having read Nansook Hong's book, In The Shadow Of The Moons, also reminded me Hatch helped out the late messiah who wanted to "conquer and subjugate the world.” And why wouldn't he? Hatch is a respected Mormon and they're so niiiiice - always trying to "help" those openly attempting to "conquer and subjugate the world” (what if Moon had succeeded, and not just in individual lives?) or just take their money (Hatch was definitely "successful" at that, the scum sucker) or some such:

Moon got ahold of Nansook Hong when she was all of fifteen. She was an illegal child bride for Moon's grown and drug addicted son, Hyo Jin Moon. Hyo Jin became a notorious wife-beater who even cracked on Hong when she was pregnant.

Hyo Jin Moon gave Nansook Hong herpes. 

They were "married" for fifteen years. I put "married" in quotes because, of course, Hyo Jin's father officiated and the pairing involved immigration fraud, because Moon had Hong brought to the United States under false pretenses - which eventually included statutory rape.

Later, Hong fled with her children, and because the billionaire cult leader's son claimed poverty, child support wasn't provided until compelled by the courts.

   

So what does any of this have to do with that good ol' upstanding, upright, "wholesome" Mormon, Senator Orrin? Oh, nothing much. Along with helping Mitt with his deceptions, Hatch just: 

Attempted to whitewash Moon's tax evasion and pushed for clemency. 

Paid homage to Moon's wife, the woman who stood by while her fifteen year-old "daughter-in-law" was being raped and regularly beaten by her drug addicted son in a fake marriage. 

Wrote a song for one of Moon's front groups. 

Honored Moon in a gala Washington reception. 

And co-sponsored an honor to Moon and his wife - Parent's Day. 

"Parent's Day." Get it? You're a cult leader who gets a child for your son to rape and beat up and it's honored by a powerful member of ANOTHER cult with MAJOR child abuse issues of it's own! It's a joke! A marvelous joke! "All In The Family"! Whoo-hoo! 

These cultists, they can do whatever they want, and then laugh at everyone else because - seriously - who gets these punchlines? Child abuse! Wife beating! Punch-lines! Oh man, I'll be here all week! Bwaaaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha! 

 I tell you - when it comes to choosing the ideas and people to rule this country - nobody needs to listen to a cranky ol' patriotic and idiocentric black guy like me: 

 It's pretty clear you folks certainly know how to pick 'em,...

Moon's Dead: Not Exactly Good News (Not Exactly Bad)

Well lookee-lookeee - a very-profitable false prophet has died: 

  Sun Myung Moon, a self-professed messiah who claimed millions of religious followers in his Unification Church and sought to become a powerful voice in the American conservative movement through business interests that included the Washington Times, has died. He was 92

. …His stated ambition was to rule the world and replace Christianity with his own faith, which blended elements of Christianity, Confucianism and Korean folk religions. A leading symbol of the 1970s cult wars in America, he attracted a great deal of attention and ridicule for holding mass weddings for Unificationist couples whom he had paired, often without the prospective partners ever having met.

Sigh. "His stated ambition was to rule the world,…" And, of course, with that ambition there's a Romney connection. How cool is that? You guys LOVE him and his world-striding cult, too!

“The whole world is in my hand, and I will conquer and subjugate the world.” 

 Whatta guy. My hero. Being subjugated is all I've ever hoped for.

By the mid-1980s, Mr. Moon’s recruitment efforts in America had begun to flag. The National Council of Churches had rejected Unificationism, calling it “incompatible with Christian teaching and belief.” Congress had investigated Mr. Moon’s connections with the South Korean CIA and issued a report damning his businesses as a global network designed to further the growth of a religious cult.

 So what? It was just another cult in America. That's the "in" thing now. 

Bowing before cult leaders. Totally American.

In 2004, he was photographed in the Dirksen Senate Office Building, wearing regal robes and a gold crown and flanked by members of Congress. The picture was taken after a ceremony in which Mr. Moon proclaimed before U.S. senators and representatives that he was “none other than humanity’s savior, messiah, returning lord and true parent.” That was a truth, he told the gathered crowd, that Stalin and Hitler had recognized in conversations from beyond the grave. 

In fact, according to Mr. Moon’s sermons, Jesus also had spoken from the spirit realm and recognized Mr. Moon as the savior of humankind. So had Buddha, Muhammad and Satan, among others. Mr. Moon claimed he had found a wife for Jesus and blessed the couple’s marriage.

 

My education was such a waste when faced with this. I really don't know what the point of it was anymore. I should've been a preacher, or guru, and said wacky shit for shits and giggles, then I, too, would've been respected. 

  In 1998, a steady drip of stories about the dysfunctionality of the supposedly perfect Moon family reached a climax when Nansook Hong, the ex-wife of Mr. Moon’s son Hyo Jin Moon, published a tell-all memoir. “In the Shadow of the Moons” accused Hyo Jin of cocaine addiction and domestic abuse and alleged that Mr. Moon was himself guilty of adultery and money laundering. 

In 1999, another son, Young Jin Moon, fell from the 17th floor of a Reno, Nev., hotel. His death was ruled a suicide by the local coroner. A third son, Heung Jin Moon, was killed in a 1984 car crash; four years later, Mr. Moon announced that Heung Jin had been reincarnated in the body of a Zimbabwean church member.

I read “In the Shadow of the Moons”. It was pretty horrifying. But even after that, nobody really challenged Moon. To do so was "bigotry." Just go along to get along. He made a lot of money, right? That's all that matters. The people trapped in his cult definitely don't. I mean, it's not YOU, so what do you care?

“I will continue to lead the church from the spirit world.” 

 Yeah, sure, whatever you say, asshole,....

Dark Side Of The Moons

The timing of this Saturday Night Live video's release on YouTube is funny because I'm currently reading In The Shadow Of The Moons: My Life In The Reverend Sun Myung Moon's Family by Nansook Hong. (I think I'm also becoming a big fan of deprogramming - especially after reading about "Ted Patrick, a short and stocky black man who set out to probe the underground world of religious cults in order to free young people".) Interesting stuff.

I need more information on these subjects because 1) I didn't know shit about cults, or cultish-thinking, before my divorce and 2) too many people are, obviously, trapped in these scarily subservient (and quite un-American) modes of thinking and don't even know it. They try to shut down anyone that actually does know anything, thinking the fact they can hold a a job and are appealing for others to have "an open mind" will be able to cover for the mile-wide flaws in thier reasoning - or cover up that blank stare in their eyes. It's pretty scary.

Even Dan Ackroyd was on some stupid U.F.O. kick not too long ago. Yea, Dan Fucking Ackroyd! The very guy in this video!!!

Where's Bill Murray when you need him?