Duck And Cover: This One Has Got It All

Sheer brilliance:

"The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat to world peace,’ said President Barack Obama, ‘they might not cause any actual damage but the placebo effect could be quite devastating.’

The H2O-bomb has been developed by the radical New Age group, The Axis of Aquarius. In a taped message to the world, their leader, Professor Hubert Pennington, said: ‘For too long the New Age movement has been dismissed as a bunch of beardy weirdy cranks and charlatans. But now we have weapons-grade homeopathy and we demand to be taken seriously.’

Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules. According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted, the more powerful the bomb becomes.

Meanwhile, new security measures at airports require that all water bottles be scanned to ensure that they are not being used to smuggle the memory of an explosion on board a plane.

‘Homeopathic weapons are the ultimate Smart Bombs,’ warned President Obama, ‘They are so smart that they only affect the gullible. The only defence is for everyone to remain calm, vigilant and to always wear a magic vibrating crystal.’"

Click the title to understand it better (you'll never understand it.)

NewAge Groups Are Working On You Together

“During the month of September, yoga experts, homeopathic specialists, medical practitioners and green merchants will participate in Yoga Month’s 10 City Yoga Health Festival Tour.”

-- Editor Choice, on Yoga Month - where a clear connection between several forms of quackery, and cultish beliefs without intellectual, or scientific, foundation (yoga, homeopathy, "alternative" medicine, and environmentalism) can be identified as united in purpose - on PR-Canada.net.

The Flabby Liars Of The Aquarian Age

"About a thousand years ago, there was this brief period of about 11 or 12 minutes, that is now referred to as the sixties, a hated time, an intoxicating time. I enjoyed myself thoroughly for five or six minutes. It has become a kind of black hole in the sociological cosmos, a kind of Bermuda Triangle, into which all the noblest and worthwhile ideas disappeared forever. A seductive moment; however, being the gloomy chap that you know me to be, I was able to resist it. I think it was back in 1971 when it reached its most acute phase; it was then that I was inspired to write this mournful and bitter ditty in response to all the flabby liars of the Aquarian Age."

-- Leonard Cohen, in his introduction to the song, There Is A War

Thanks to Cosmic Connie for the heads up.