The Great Unknown

So where are we?

That's not an unusual thing to ask when in uncharted waters, so I don't feel weird giving voice to it, considering we've just witnessed the loss of a true American hero to a virtual nobody - to become the nation's first black president. Am I proud of that? Of course I am. Do I wish it was another black man? Of course I do. I wish it was a man who had been more open, more honest; a man I feel more compelled to embrace. But it is this man, Barack Obama, who has won, and yes, he's now my president, too.

His words don't sing to me; they haven't sung to me since 2004, when I was sitting in the dark in a house in France, with it's owners, agitated, wondering why I would stay up until 4AM to watch the Democratic Convention. I offered for them to join me, but they missed it. I'm sure, now, they've finally figured out that I knew something, then, that they didn't:

Back home, in my country - in The United States of America - the seeds of remarkable things were (and are) always being planted.

This is president elect is historic, though I must admit, underwhelming. Barack Obama's acceptance speech didn't move me, being the usual superficial slogans that add up to nothing much. (He gave "science" credit for the falling of the Berlin Wall - not Reagan - or all the serious politicians, diplomats, and soldiers who gave their lives for just that moment. And I'll remind you, Liberals hated them, too.)

Yes, I see the crowds. And yes, I hear the cheers. I hear "Yes We Can!" rising like the empty, cultish, mantra it's been from the beginning, and all it leaves me wondering is, can our newest American Idol really lead? His candidacy still doesn't feel any more "real" than his words.

Like the ugly swamp of Chicago "machine" politics Obama has risen from, liberals aren't known for leading, but for pushy manipulation - and I know I speak for many when I say leadership calls for something more. Can they do it?

It's not enough to say we have to pull together, not for conservatives. We need a reason. And Barack Obama, alone, isn't enough.

Amazingly, the nation that has just elected Barack Obama still doesn't know him. He deliberately kept his past murky, hid his papers, and many times lied about what we discovered. That's not a good beginning for a presidency where half the country doesn't trust you.

Part of me - the black man - wants to protect him, keep him safe, give him a chance and give him a hand. But another part of me, where my conservative instincts arise from, know I've been lied to, and as you all know, unlike many people, I can't forget lying just because you ask me to: it's too defining of character.

But am I downcast? Scared? Ready to rebel for the next four years as liberals did for eight? No, not at all. I've been following politics since I was eighteen, and this election - because it was won by someone as "cold" as Barack Obama - doesn't get my dander up. I know the media created this, acted as his cheerleader; so if I have any anger, it's directed at them. Barack Obama may have felt it was necessary to hide himself, but it was their responsibility to reveal him and they didn't do their job. It is they who had my trust and lost it, possibly forever, not Barack Obama who never did. So I'm merely apprehensive about what tomorrow will bring, as I prepare for sleep with deceptive phrases like "share the wealth", and dismissive ones, like "typical white person", still saying more than "Yes We Can".

It strikes me that Barack Obama rarely smiles. He didn't even smile during his acceptance speech. Should he have? I think so. He's kept his eye on the prize, and finally grabbed the brass ring for an entire people - that's something to be happy about, isn't it? I'm almost convinced that, though not overjoyed, I feel better about his election than he does.

Only time will tell how many such reversals will happen now.

CMC

P.S.

Damn you, Pennsylvania!