Funny: None Of The Quacks Diagnosed You

"I picked up something on the plane to Nepal. So although I managed a week trekking, I was then struck down with what felt like awful flu. I couldn't stop shivering and at that high altitude I was so weak that the guide told me I could not go on.

Once home, my GP diagnosed viral pneumonia, which had left me with post-viral fatigue. He said I must take six weeks off work and sleep as much as possible.

Thankfully, I took the advice of my aunt, Baldish Bilkhu, a trained homeopathist who recommended a herbal remedy called Kali.Phos, which contains potassium phosphate. It's brilliant for boosting energy levels and is ideal for anyone feeling run-down.

I'm convinced taking it speeded up my recovery as I was well enough to return to work after four weeks.

That was when I started to take a look at the world of holistic medicine. I found a holistic retreat in Goa called Yoga Magic and booked myself in as a treat.

They had an inspirational masseur called Vishnu and a Reiki practitioner, Ramsay, whose treatments rebalance the body and helped me release pent-up tension. After my first session with him I cried for an hour.

Now I try to go back every year to rebalance as the experience made me so much more aware of my body.

I felt revitalised for a year, but then I suddenly started losing weight at a terrifying rate - a stone in a week.

My GP diagnosed an overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism) and referred me to an endocrinologist. I was jumpy and irritable - classic symptoms and quite unlike the normal me.

My endocrine system was clearly in turmoil as I've since been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) and have to take the synthetic equivalent of the hormone, thyroxine.

It's crucial for anyone with hypothyroidism to be physically active as one of the symptoms is that your metabolism can slow right up, so I've just run the London Marathon.

My Goa experience prompted me to embark on a six-month diploma in holistic massage - massage to treat the whole body."

-- Priya Kaur-Jones, a woman too stupid to be delivering the news in England, telling the usual insane story of being an ignorant NewAger who goes to doctors to discover what's wrong and deliver a cure - while also teaching her all those sciencey-sounding big words - and, then, going to quacks and giving them credit for her good health - in The Daily Mail.

To learn more about Goa's wonderful health programs, click the tag, below.