Madonna's "Hard Candy": Good Luck With That

Yes, we're a little late, but it seems to be true:

Madonna's going to open a world-wide series of gyms, called Hard Candy, that "will be a reflection of Madonna’s point of view", so other women can become as beautiful (and politically intelligent) as she is. As one critic said:

"I cannot think of anything I would like less than working out in a Madonna themed gym. Everyone will have those freakishly veiny arms and look pissed off and snooty all the time. The only thing you’d be allowed to drink would be Kabbalah water."

That sounds great! (Though we don't understand how someone "enlightened" by Kabbalah, as Madonna surely is, should "look pissed off and snooty all the time".) Also - now that Oprah's hooked up with Jon Stewart - it'll be a totally organic fit for Madonna to get that fat bitch exercising on The Daily Show! That's "win-win" for everybody! (Especially those of us into comedy.)

Exit question:

Considering all these NewAge faces are, specifically, uniting so the rest of us can "come together" - and now that Miss "SEX" herself, Madonna, is branching out here - should TMR just forget about music and start investing your donations in Kleenex?