We're So Glad You Took The Time To Clear It Up

Suzanne White from the North East Pagan Fellowship is talking to a reporter about paganism's history:

Paganism pre-dates Christianity. According to Suzanne, it probably began from the believers’ realisation of their dependence on nature and the cycle of the seasons, plus a sense of something much bigger than themselves.

Isn't it great to have your life run by a belief system based on a "probably"?

Suzanne then goes on to show how much she knows about Christianity:

“It’s most likely the date of Easter was chosen to coincide as closely as possible with a major heathen or Pagan festival, that of Eostre and the name, though not Christian in origin, remains the same today.”

"Most likely", huh? Great. Listening to this woman is like catching the plethora of qualifiers (something "may" happen, or it "could be") on television news.

Does anybody actually know anything anymore?

She continues:

“It is a little tricky to explain,..."

Then it's "a little tricky" to think you understand it, Suzy Q. Some authority you've turned out to be.

She finally ends the whole charade with:

“It is similar in some ways to Hinduism.”

Like all NewAge beliefs today.

Based on this, we think the Pagans ought to just slap a dot on their foreheads and, damn it, go find a hotel or restaurant to run somewhere.

Sheesh.