Masturbacija

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't touch that dial
Don't try to smile
Just take this pill
It's in your file

Don't work hard
Don't play hard
Don't plan for the graveyard
Remember -

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't work by night
Don't sleep by day
You'll feel all right
But you will pay

No caffeine
No protein
No booze or
Nicotine
Remember -

That song is what we first thought of when we saw this story about heart attacks in the New York Daily News:

Even breathing is bad for your health: A new study shows air pollution triggers about 7% of heart attacks, while marijuana toking causes just 1%.

Booze and coffee accounted for 5% of heart attacks, researchers found. Cocaine, anger and sex also fueled the cardiac catastrophes.

Researchers looked at 36 studies on environmental triggers for heart disease and determined that air pollution dramatically boosted a person's risk of heart attack.

Those snorting cocaine were 23 times more likely to have a heart attack but, because a small percentage of the population uses the drug, it accounted for a small number of heart attacks.

Here's our question for all you NewAge nanny state-loving scaredy-cat health freaks:

When are you going to understand it's living that kills you?

The Jackson Fib

The hatred Boomers and post-Boomers exhibit towards their fathers is unconscionable, and the way Janet Jackson speaks of Joe reveals she's both stupid and shameless:

It was widely known that patriarch of the Jackson family, Joe Jackson, was a stern disciplinarian when it came to his famous children.

The father and manager of the Jackson clan, his image became tarnished when it was reported that he was abusive towards his children.

The late Michael Jackson had often said that from a young age he was physically and emotionally abused by his father.

Now his sister Janet Jackson has opened up about her own rocky relationship with her father in a revealing interview with Piers Morgan tonight.

'I think my father means well... and wants nothing but the best for his kids... but that is not necessarily the right way,' she said of Joe Jackson to the British interviewer.

The 44-year-old singer recalled the time that her father struck her when she was a little girl as she was getting out of the bath tub.

'I don't remember if I truly deserved it,' she said.

She told Mr. Morgan that besides that particular incident, he never again laid a finger on her.

She said that her relationship with her father is now a distant one, and that the two hardly speak.

The man creates an entertainment dynasty, ensuring his entire family of impoverished Gary, Indiana residents will never need again - and we mean every member of the family - and all he gets in return is a lifetime of bad mouthing from Janet and the others for something she barely remembers? Including whether she deserved it? (Which we think, since she was a child, she probably did.)

Hell, we wouldn't speak to her either.

Tanku Varadarajan: Your Fly's (Still) Wide Open

This is a classic:

My day started off with a huge laugh, as I read Tunku Varadarajan's hilarious column on Barack Obama's loss of sex appeal, but my laughter was at Varadarajan - not Obama - because the man (and I use the term lightly here) makes so many comments that are un-manly I can't help but picture him as a gay guy in leather chaps thinking he's being masculine. He says Obama:

...leaves America without a single politician of stature with any sex appeal at all. It’s enough to make one weep.

Awww, poor Tanku, left without one power-broker that he can masturbate to at night. The big fag.

He goes on and on about how women reacted to Obama's candidacy - like Tanku was their gay boyfriend - making it clear he got off on it as much as they did. What straight male would do that? What happened to the reaction I shared with Joe Jackson:

"Is she really going out with him?
Is she really going to take him home tonight?
Is she really going out with him?
Well if my eyes don't deceive me there's something going wrong around here."

I remember once, during the election, I heard this ugly woman talking to her equally-ugly daughter about Barack, saying, "Finally, I'm going to be able to vote for a handsome president!" and all I could think was, yea, a man who'd never look at you.

I mean, all this talk of sex - over a man who, to real men, was a loser from the very start? It just goes to show you why following the lead of women, metrosexuals, and gays, is such a waste: they'll drool over anything with a shiny veneer.

There was something about him that was both clean-cut and revolutionary; and it was no doubt electrifying that many millions of American women were so openly adoring of a black man.

"Electrifying"? Again: I can't help but picture poor Tanku with his manhood in his hand, working it furiously. But, I guess, I can't be too surprised: Remember during the election when all those reporters on Barack's plane - male and female - were going crazy over Barack in his MOM jeans? I knew they were crazy then. The same goes for that famous shirtless photo of Barack on the beach - was that lanky hairless visage really an image of masculinity? Or even more compelling evidence of the Left's mass delusion? I voted, emphatically, for the latter.

People have asked me why I'm not interested in having sex these days, and said my constant complaints are "not sexy" (a charge Tanku eventually levels at the post-election Barack as the reward for his failures) but, here, I'll now ask a question in return:

How sexy is anyone who was dumb enough to be turned on by a lamer like Barack Obama?

I mean, how am I supposed to want to have sex with anyone when so many are, not just bad judges of character, but of man-flesh? Women currently make me feel the same way I did about Glenn Beck's religious Tea Party gathering on the mall:

All the important parts are in all the right places - but there ain't shit going on upstairs - and good sex starts in the mind, people.

I'll end this by admitting - whether it's in the world of sensuality or politics - the rest of you strike this black man as a really bad fuck.

Oh, and I think someone should hook Tanku up with Gavin Newsom:

He needs a new boyfriend.

Man, The Father, As Protector (The One That Must Be Lied To, And Lied On, And Lied About)

"Demanding that the tour be called off, he asked an aide to call his father, shouting that Joe Jackson was the only person he still trusted,...

‘He begged to see his father but they lied to him. They told him they couldn’t get hold of him. If Joe Jackson had been allowed to see him that night, I believe Michael would still be alive.’...

‘Michael was visibly upset. I’ve been told he was crying. He demanded an aide call his father. He said his father was the only person who could “clean up the mess”. The aide told him there was no answer and promised to call him the next day.’...

Halperin claims that for weeks, whenever Joe Jackson drove to his son’s mansion, he was blocked by security guards. ‘These people were scared that if Joe got wind of the shape Michael was in, he would cancel all 50 shows,’ Halperin says. ‘Joe always told his children, “You either perform at your maximum capacity or you don’t perform.’’’...

It may be difficult to prove exactly what killed Michael. He was an extremely sick man,’ says Halperin. ‘The one thing that is certain is that his father would have beaten down the gates to rescue him if he’d been informed of the state that he was in.

‘No one can say how long he would have lived but he would have survived that night.’"

-- Sharon Churcher and Caroline Graham, quoting Ian Halperin, Michael Jackson's biographer - "who accurately predicted Jackson’s death eight months ago" - on Joe Jackson, Michael Jackson's hated father, who, when it all came down to it, was the only person with integrity, in The Daily Mail.

Better Left To The Dogs (That Would Be Y'All)

"After telling the world of his pride in his dead son and love for his grieving grandchildren, Joe Jackson turned back into the family compound.

He had a smile that made him all the more a walking question for which there are no simple answers,...

To be fair to Joe Jackson, he could have been standing outside a rundown house in Gary with a family whose sufferings had been met with the indifference offered millions who have fallen victims to racism and poverty."

-- Michael Daly, writing another of those silly pieces of misandry - attempting to denigrate Michael Jackson's father for disciplining him ("If you messed up you got hit, sometimes with a switch, sometimes with a belt") when Michael probably wouldn't have amounted to shit without him - because, with this current NewAge outlook, strong men are targets for The New York Daily News.

They Believe In Nothing - But Each Other

"It appears from the donor list of the Clinton Foundation that there is barely an oligarch, royal family, or special-interest group anywhere in the world that does not know how to get the former president's attention. Just in the days since the foundation agreed to some disclosure of its previously 'confidential' clients—in other words, since this became a condition for Sen. Clinton's nomination to become secretary of state—we have additionally found former President Clinton in warm relationships with one very questionable businessman in Malaysia and with another, this time in Nigeria, who used to have close connections with that country's ultracorrupt military dictatorship."

-- Christopher Hitchens, showing Bill Clinton, nor the Democrat's other choice for president - now the Secretary of State pick - has ever cared about principles beyond (screwing up) talking about them, in Slate.

You Can Start Measuring Mount Rushmore Now

"Any rehabilitation of Bush’s reputation will be rooted in his alleged 'state of denial' — which is to say, his unwillingness to accept a defeat that the Washington smart set had ordained,...That has been George Bush’s singular quality. We will see whether his successors have equal perseverance. They will need it. "

-- Thomas Donnelly in an (unsurprising) assessment he's called "Lincoln, Churchill, Bush?" for The National Review Online.

One Who Pushed Back (And Wasn't Nothing Nice)

"Ellie Nesler, who sparked a national debate about vigilantism after killing her son's accused molester in a courtroom in 1993, has died of cancer. She was 56.

Nesler died Friday morning at UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento, according to hospital spokeswoman Phyllis Brown. She had battled breast cancer since 1994.

Nesler made headlines when she shot Daniel Driver five times in the head in a Tuolumne County courtroom during a break in his preliminary hearing for allegedly molesting four boys, including her then-6-year-old son William, at a Christian camp."

-- The Associated Press



I remember when Nesler acted and - like most people - until my divorce, I never understood the reaction she could have - not to the abuse of her child, but how horrifying things can become when "spirituality" is mixed with acts of depravity; the way the cover of religion can warp and destroy one's entire world view. I still don't think people understand it. I think the general perception of reality, out there, is far too shallow to appreciate what a mindf*@k that so-called "Christian" placed in this unsuspecting woman's lap - just as I don't think my NewAge ex, or her NewAge "doctor," comprehend what they've put me through. They don't have the intelligence, or the compassion, to identify with it.

My heart goes out to the family of Ellie Nesler: She deserved better - from all of us.

People are unbelievably cruel.

I Know: Yours Lasts For 3 Days (After An Attack)

"I wish I felt such certainty."

-- Joel Stein, a poor liberal, finally saying openly - and enviously - what we American patriots already suspected, in The Los Angeles Times.

You'll Always Feel Bad After Watching A Porno

"Vote for my change, and I promise you more of Bob Gates at Defense, my rival Hillary Rodham Clinton (with help from Bill) at State, Gen. James Jones as national security adviser, Clinton pros John Podesta and Rahm Emanuel running my transition - and the evangelical pastor Rick Warren conducting my inaugural invocation. And what I am saying now about wiretaps, NAFTA, the Patriot Act, campaign financing, Iran, Iraq, missile defense, coal and nuclear power and taxes will have to be changed when I'm elected."

-- Victor Davis Hanson, on the ground-level reality behind (what many found to be) Barack Obama's souring words - which no one would've voted for, built a cult around, or had a reason to "believe" in - if they'd been carefully vetted by The San Francisco Chronicle.