A First Listen To The Crack Emcee's Next Album "Black People Food"

The Crack Emcee · Microwaved Potatoes

"Microwaved Potatoes" is a twofer - my latest statement on life in Trump's "Golden Age" AND a (hopefully humorous) answer to every grocery store check-out person asking how I'm doing in it. It's also a Little White Radio track, so another number where I'm "playing all of our records all at once,” mixing Rock and Bluegrass with Synth Pop, Rap, and EDM (Electronic Dance Music) all over a pseudo-Philly Sound - while sampling everything in sight. It's a lot of heavy-lifting. (Headphones are highly recommended). If you like it, consider a donation to PayPal, because the wolves are out there and those samples are NOT gonna clear themselves. Here are the lyrics: 

Burning biscuits is so delicious, with 

sour milk in the early morn 

Pork that’s turned is as good as something burnt 

Food poisoning almost as good as porn 

Horse radish done destroyed my salad 

I found a roach somewhere on my ear of corn 

An expiration date don’t mean that something’s late 

It indicates don’t take it back to the store 

I live on microwaved potatoes 

A can of tomatoes sit on the table 

Ain’t found a recipe to use them for 

I got a burnt-up pan: set fire to water, again 

Smoke’s everywhere, better open the door 

Produce rotten, vegetables been forgotten 

I got shit in the fridge that’s growing spores 

Lotsa fast food boxes - yeah, I said ‘lotsa’ 

The ants, alone, are too much to ignore 

I live on microwaved potatoes

 

Three Songs From The Upcoming Album "The Golden Age"

The Crack Emcee · Three Songs From The Upcoming Album "The Golden Age"

That's Entertainment 2024 (And Throughout The Ages)

 

 I'm from a different time and place, so you'll have to excuse me. 

   

 But 'Bravo!' to True Classic t-shirts: the over-arching concerns of modern life have rarely been so well-depicted. 

   

 OK, I take that back - I forgot Tender Dracula - but, still, it's a good commercial. 

   

 AI's getting good, now, too. 

   

 HBO just dropped 8 seasons of This Week Tonight online, and that's nothing to complain about. 

   

 Especially when, today, you can couple it with Mystery Science Theatre 3000, anytime, too. Wow. 

   

Follow that with the album named something "that showed up on an ouija board at one time."

   

 After whatever society's taking wears off, of course - and then we're solid. Until you crash the car.

 

EWF Was Never Told Astrology Isn't Real Or Blacks Didn't Once Rule Over Egypt

TMR finds it amazing that a band could be as famous as Earth, Wind & Fire were, without anyone pulling them aside and saying, "You know all this NewAge, astrology-and-Egypt crap's a HUGE load of bullshit, right?"

But - apparently - nobody did, for decades.

Americans just went along with the charade - until a Netflix special made the obvious explicit:

These niggas were out they mothafuckin' minds.

And propagating a cult ideology all along.

One that's sad, and tragic, and even perverse, when seen as the efforts of the descendants of American slaves, in the 20th century, to establish an identity - still - from before our nation's twisted character took over our lives, denying us an education, a past, and even an education of a past.

Blacks, building 'spiritual' pillars, erected on sand.

And, friend or foe, nobody said anything.

Until, of course, the Egyptians saw Netflix.

And they either got pissed, or thoroughly enjoyed a laugh, at black's expense.

Not America's, for cruelly allowing it's citizens to wallow in the deep-end of madness.

And, also, encouraging that madness to never end.

Fentanyl Milk Shake

 

  Whoopi Goldberg mocked after claiming ALIENS have 'been here for quite some time' 

   

  Cult leader sentenced in case of 3-year-old boy who was buried to be brought back as Jesus 

   

  Is the West in a Societal Death Spiral? 

   

  Mike Tyson sells cannabis sweets in shape of Evander Holyfield’s ear 

   

  Trump unwisely compared to Charles Manson by Fox pundit

"Bloodbath"

No one should see a chiropractor thinking they are seeing a doctor

The Beatles song Ringo Starr calls his favourite: “I was possessed” 

   

  The Prophet Of Shroom: Inside America's Largest—And Trippiest—Megachurch 

   

  Ryan Phillippe was ‘craving’ relationship with God after being in ‘darker place’

Miriam Margolyes Turned Down Marvel ‘Story About Witches’ Over Shooting in Georgia: ‘I Don’t Like America’ 

   

  Dear Abby: I think a therapist brainwashed my daughter

Karaoke inventor Shigeichi Negishi dies at 100

Somehow (Drug Smugglers Get Into The United States Easier Than Anyone Else)

The goth kid of canned water gets valued above $1b

As you can see, above, The Donald has already wrestled the U.S. presidency from the Democrats. Good. But remember: While Trump is the better choice, he did also send weapons to Ukraine, moved America's embassy to Jerusalem, supports the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza, AND has said he wants to raid your Social Security. So there's that. There's always that. Back to the show:

A 'male' robot was unveiled in Saudi Arabia. It inappropriately touched a female reporter

Something unknown is changing how quickly the universe is expanding

A police officer took a teen for a rape kit. Then he assaulted her, too. 

   

 R.I.P. to Karl Wallinger of The Waterboys.

 

High Steppin'

The Crack Emcee · Re-Entering A Baking Soda Palace

A New Fresh Face (With Lots Of Stuff Stuck In It)

 

 While, for me, her work falls somewhere between [Grunge] Rock, Pop, and Jazz, they're calling Lola Young's stuff UK Rhythm and Blues, which - I guess is fine. Just don't call her Taylor Swift, so I have to avert my eyes, because this is a young lady who's eminently watchable. And fun to listen to. And root for. She's got a gift for the simple lyric. So I want to hear more. 

   

 Young comes across, to me, the way Billie Eilish seems to come across to other people. Nothing against Billie, but I'm not feeling it yet. Whereas, I feel everything Lola Young feels, because she conveys it so well. She's even got a sense of humor. About herself. And that's a rare thing. Especially today, when these new female leads are so trying. 

   

 Speaking of which, I also checked out the band, boygenius, this weekend (their gimmick is having three female leads) but I could only find one good song. (I still don't think I've heard a good song by Taylor Swift, yet.) Lola Young seems to have nothing but good songs, in this sea of breathtaking mediocrity. I wish her well. She's probably gonna need it. Hide the astrologers.

 

Hit Me Where The Wind Blows: Platforming Is Everything (But Significant Art)

 

 Unlike a lot of people, today, I've never judged work on the size of the artist's audience. Taylor Swift may be huge, but I've never been able to recognize her songs, after all the years she's been in the public eye. And that's after making an effort to actually listen to her. I still can't do it. That's how good she is: She's so good that - even after making an effort to get to know her work - I still couldn't identify one of her songs, now, to save my life. Just as she doesn't know mine. The difference being that I don't do marketing, so mine aren't likely to ever be on constant rotation anywhere. 

 And now we have Ben Shapiro's "Facts". 

   

 The size of Shapiro's audience, and the concerted effort they'll make to insure his song's success, should push it skyward, whether it's deserving or not (I couldn't finish his verse, much less the song, so can't say it has much merit, except according to the shallow parameters of today's New Age culture). What they can't do is make it important enough to be part of what's known as "The Canon," and - as long as that's the case - then, as Freddie Mercury once sang, it doesn't really matter. Not to me anyway. "Facts" prompted at least one person to call me, just to say they liked my old Trump songs better, so that's my commentary on it. And that's enough:

Nobody calls me anymore.

Crack Is Boldly Steppin'

The album, and individual tracks, for "Mystic Mayhem" are now for sale through bandcamp. You can still hear the whole album (for free) on Soundcloud.

And there could be a LOT more rock on the way.

Mystic Mayhem By The Crack Emcee

Mystic Mayhem: Nine More Tales From The Dark Side

AND 

France plans crackdown on cults

Same As It Ever Was (Including Falling For It)

Hipsters Were Always Hypocrites - And Conventional. Ask Frank Zappa. In his 1973 song, Camarillo Brillo, he perfectly described resisting a NewAge woman's charms - who sounds just like Amy Carlson, the Love Has Won cult leader - over two years before she was even born:

 

"She said she was a Magic Mama/And she could throw a mean Tarot. And carried on without a comma/That she was someone I should know. She had a snake for a pet/And an amulet. And she was breeding a dwarf/But she wasn't done yet. She had gray-green skin/A doll with a pin. I told her she was alright/But I couldn't come in,..."

 

No Cream (Or Sugar)

 The Museum of Hip-Hop 

   

 Calico 

   

 The Ten Dumbest Things We're Being Asked To Believe About Gaza

 

Nothing (Works)

MR. CRYSTAL ENERGY: 

Eric Adams had cellphones, iPad seized as part of corruption investigation 

   

 "The Curse is an indictment. And it’s one the privileged of this country deserve." 

   

 "Sometimes creation looks a little messy."

YA THINK? Paper on homeopathy for ADHD retracted for ‘deficiencies’

As a DJ, village priest in Portugal cues up faith and electronic dance music

John Mearsheimer Gives Good Quotes

 

 "The conventional wisdom,....has no evidence to support it" 

   

 "Why Americans don't understand,...basic logic escapes me" 

   

 "This is an unmitigated disaster,...it's just hard to believe what's happening"

    

 "It makes me sick to my stomach to watch this"

 

Celebrity Skin

Lance Bass Hopes Fans Will ‘Find Some Forgiveness’ for Justin Timberlake

Is Flavor Flav Being Controlled By 2 Random Women?

Ace Frehley: My Album Makes Paul Stanley 'Look Like an Imbecile'

 

Music Calms (The Savage Beast)

 

 Hearing old white guys complaining about the dominance of Rap Music is, both, hilarious and insulting. They claim to be all about "America First," but - unlike Donald Trump - they take no pride in what Americans have done to keep our culture at the forefront of the world. No, instead, at every opportunity, they slander the art form, the artists, and the fans of the art. So laugh at the old racists: 

That's all they - in their ignorace - are worth. 

   

 If you're the kind of person who's on their 3rd cup of coffee at 4 AM, this song's for you. 

   

 The cool thing about Trance, as a musical genre, is that it's "Bug Music," so you can be very productive if you use it. Or not. It's very easy to find yourself slipping on some headphones, and just staring into the void. Especially if you're on drugs. But, if you immediately jump up and start actually doing something, as soon as you recognize the style, you can get a hell of a lot done. Dance like you've never danced before. Colonize something. 

   

 And I'm out.

 

Watching The Wheels

   

     

     

    

Madlib (On Africa)

 

 "I don't care if you from the Hoochie Coochie tribe of Mississippi"