Tonight There's A Great Debate Between 2 Fools America's Sick Of Hearing From

I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION:

  A new measure of Americans’ deep distrust of the media

NIGERIA AIN'T HAVIN' NONE OF IT:

  Cultism: Police arrest suspected killers of PoS agent, others in Ekiti 

    

 AFTER YEARS OF ARROGANTLY ASSERTING THEY WORKED:

  Multivitamin myth: Study shows no benefit to long-term health, longevity

HIMSELF INCLUDED:

  Bill Maher says 'aggressively anti-common sense' Left turns off voters, helps Trump

MORMONS ARE 'NICE' - EVEN WHEN BEING DASTARDLY - WHICH IS UNNERVING:

  Inside the bitter fight between the Mormons and small town America: Church accused of 'bullying' picturesque hamlets into letting them build towering temples

UTAH'S HAVING A BAD DAY:

  Paris Hilton tells Congress she was ‘sexually abused and force-fed meds’ during child welfare hearing

THIS IS AMERICA:

  He flipped off a trooper and got charged. Now Vermont is on the hook for $175,000

WHITE PEOPLE ON NATIVE AMERICAN TRIBAL LANDS - AGAIN?

  Rainbow Family is ordered to leave San Francisco forest or risk jail after thousands of 'counter culture' members threatened to descend on small town 

   

HERE WE GO:

  Religious leader wants to display Indian scriptures in Louisiana public classrooms

ZIONISM IS TROUBLE IN THE HOLY LAND:

  Israel threatens to send Lebanon 'back to Stone Age' as UN warns of 'potentially apocalyptic' all-out war between IDF and Hezbollah

ZIONISM IS TROUBLE IN AMERICA:

  Efforts to sell ‘Anglo neighborhoods in Israel’ at LA synagogue erupt in protests

THIS WASN'T POSSIBLE WHEN THEY WERE KEEPING AUSTIN WEIRD:

  Alex Jones’s notorious Infowars channel will be shut down by bankruptcy court

IS SHE RELATED TO THE 'CULT MOM'?

95-Year-Old "Nazi Grandma" Convicted Again For Denying Holocaust 

    

DUMBEST STORY OF THE DAY:

  Wild TikTok theory claims there are secret codes on TOOTHPASTE tubes that only 'elites' know about - but dentists reveal what colored squares REALLY mean

TMR IS HOPING FOR THE ONE-LEGGED GUY:

  Iran elections: The candidates vying to replace Ebrahim Raisi after his air crash death - including a one-legged 'living martyr', a terror chief's 'best friend' and the cleric who ordered mass executions

ANYONE WHO WOULDN'T EAT WITH CHARLES MANSON IS DEAD TO ME:

  Mom of one of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims Tony Hughes slams Ariana Grande after she revealed serial killer who murdered and dismembered 17 men was her dream dinner party guest

MEN PUT WOMEN ON TABLES AND MAKE THEM DANCE, RIGHT? 

Inside Julian Assange's 'secret family of love children' from his life before Wikileaks - and the groupies who threw themselves at him

I TURNED DOWN A PARTY WITH METALLICA AND 'PLAYED' A CHAINSAW:

  Beck on Getting Denied Entry to a Party with Paul McCartney & Bringing Leaf Blowers on Stage

HEALTHY:

  Top female bodybuilding champion, 36, dies days before top-level competition after suffering a blood clot in Brazil as tributes are paid to 'angel in human form'

I CAN GET PAID TO GET LAID FOR SCIENCE:

  You Can Get Paid To Get High For Science

HOMEOPATHS SAY DIFFERENT:

  Exercise for back pain prevention: forget about chiropractic, osteopathy, acupuncture, etc., exercise is by far the most promising treatment

LIFE AMONGST THE REDWOODS:

Seattle's shame: City once revered for its booming tech and quality of life descends into 'zombieland' where drug addicts and prostitutes reign supreme

MAKING TAYLOR SWIFT AN ICON WILL DO THAT:

  How millennials became the least cool generation

WHAT'S THE 'MEANING' OF FREE TIME?

  America's crisis of meaningless work 

   

 TEAM PLAYERS:

  ‘Kinds of Kindness’ has a cultish take on toxic work culture

14 IS BIGGER THAN 13 - AND 13 IS 'BAD LUCK' - SO,...L. RON HUBBARD IS A GENIUS:

  13 Celebs Who "Escaped" Scientology, And 14 Who Love And Defend It

HAPPY ENDING:

  Horror in the Med as Iraqi girl, 16, 'is strangled to death while being raped in front of her mother on sinking migrant boat by man who had just seen his wife and daughter drown' in disaster that saw dozens killed off Italy

WARM LEATHERETTE:

  A woman's car crash reveals dead body in back seat — which is "cold to the touch"

RECKLESS - WITH EVERYTHING:

  Matthew Stafford's wife apologizes for 'media storm' after revealing she dated husband's backup QB

HE'S IMPOTENT:

Shocking twist in Jerry Sandusky case as new medical evidence could have proven former Penn State coach's innocence - but was left out of trial because he was too EMBARRASSED

IF I DIE - BLOW ME:

  Shock ‘sex contract’ drawn up by Brit prof, 77, with sugar baby escort revealed after he’s found dead amid assault probe

'THE MAN WITH NO NAME' HAS A FOLLOWING:

  Inside the secretive Church With No Name sect that’s under FBI investigation over decades of child sex abuse claims

'WHAT ARE YOU PROTESTING?' 'WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?'

  A Hater’s Guide to Ser Criston Cole 

   

 VETERAN BEAST HUNTER:

  Is this the Loch Ness Monster? Veteran beast hunter says he was left 'dumbfounded' by hump spotted on a webcam trained on the Scottish lake

WHAT HAPPENED TO GLOBAL COOLING?

  Whatever Happened to ‘the Big One’?

THERE'S GHOSTS:

  "Cozy Grove: Camp Spirit" is a delight, with one giant caveat

Clint Eastwood's "High Plains Drifter" Is Just A Ghost Story In Western Dress-Up

DON'T MENTION PROSTITUTION WHEN AN UGLY OUT-OF-SHAPE CONSERVATIVE UBER-RICH MEDIA BARON CAN "MARRY" FIVE TIMES:

  Rupert Murdoch marries beautiful bride Elena Zhukova in warm sunshine at his California vineyard

LOOK IT UP - MACHO DOESN'T MEAN UNFAIR:

  How Mexico, bastion of machismo, got a female president before the U.S.

WOMEN INITIATE 70% OF DIVORCES - THUS WORLD PAIN:

  The pain of loss is felt in much the same way as physical pain

PRO-TIP - TAKE ALL YOUR FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE FROM WHORES: 

Stormy Daniels urges Melania Trump to leave husband Donald now

HALF OF AMERICANS THINK RACHEL MADDOW IS A JOURNALIST:

  Half of Americans think Trump's guilty verdict was correct, should end campaign: POLL

THEY SAY SHE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR U.S. SOCIAL MAYHEM BUT THERE'S NO ADVERTISING IT OR NEWS REPORTS AND DOCUMENTARIES SHOWING HOW:

  Oprah Kicks Off Pride Month

LIBERALS REALLY LIKE BEING LIED TO:

  Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow Are Luring Liberals Back to cable TV 

    

 MLK'S "DREAM" HAS BEEN ACHIEVED: 

Justin Bieber Gave Odell Beckham Jr. Oral Sex At Diddy Party, Jaguar Wright & Tokyo Toni Allege

TRYING TO MAKE LOSING "AMERICAN IDOL" MATTER:

  David Archuleta on leaving the Mormon church, coming out and 'living a meaningful life'

GOD, GIVE ME STRENGTH, AFTER YOU MADE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME:

  Kathie Lee Gifford turned to faith after her husband's affair: 'I was never the same'

REWARDING THE FAKEST OF FAKE RITUALS:

  Stunning image of man leaping through fire during Hindu ritual among the winners of National Geographic Traveller Photography Competition 

   

IT'S A GAME OF "CAT AND MOUSE" - YOU'RE THE MOUSE:

  Robert Irwin becomes latest target in scam that's fleeced $8 million from Aussies 

   

 REMEMBER WHEN THE INTERNET PROMISED TO MAKE US SMARTER THAN THIS?

  British-born Carlo Acutis - aka God's Influencer - died aged 15 in 2006 after a life of piety and online preaching... Now he is set to become the Patron Saint of the Internet

YOUR LIFE IS EASY WHEN A DERMATOLOGIST CAN FIX IT:

  Woman Shares Aftermath As Tattoo Goes Wrong—'Never Regretted Anything More'

OR THE BEST THING EVER:

Ozempic users are shedding pounds — and hair: ‘A real nightmare’

TRUMP JURORS MADE JOY BEHAR WET HERSELF:

  To pee or not to pee? That is a question for the bladder—and the brain

DONALD J. TRUMP - FATHER OF US ALL:

  Every blue eyed person on Earth is a descendant of one single person, scientists find

TRUST NO ONE:

  ‘Trust Jesus’ MAGA bus crashes on way to Trump rally

OH, COME ON, D:

  Trump Pretends He Never Called for Hillary to Be Locked Up

BILL CLINTON'S CULT LEADER KEN WILBER HAD A "THEORY OF EVERYTHING" THAT HILLARY ONCE SAID SHE WAS AFTER: 

A physicist dismantles Terrence Howard's nonsensical "theory of everything" 

   

 FUNNY THAT "SCIENCE" DIDN'T SAY THAT AT THE TIME - AND WHERE WAS NEAL DEGRASSE TYSON'S SORRY ASS?

  In the pandemic, we were told to keep 6 feet apart. There’s no science to support that.

IT'S JUST WATER BUT - OF COURSE - THAT'S NEVER THE ISSUE: 

Homeopathic dispensaries reel under shortage of dispensers

HUH - DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING:

  Judge dismisses 'pyramid scheme' lawsuit versus Herbalife, CEO 

     

 THIS WAS THE FIRST UNFUNNY EPISODE OF SNL'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" 

   

 YOU WERE AMAZING - THANKS, ED - AND "GOODNIGHT":

  Ed Mann, Frank Zappa's Longtime Percussionist, Dead at 70