'Helter Skelter': When Ringo Starr Screamed "I've Got MS-13 On My Fingers!"

 

In my last post, I marveled that Trump wasn't drunk or high, and, last night, John Oliver did the same – see above. Watching Trump, a former Democrat, in that clip, also reminded me of so many previous conversations I've had with members of the party, over, say, the 2012 Mayan predictions of the apocalypse, whether or not Jenny McCarthy was a trusted source for information about vaccines; whether or not homeopathic concoctions are "medicine," or whether or not AI is "god-like," or even whether or not the people who insisted on these things ever defended those positions.

Those conversations, which - like Terry Moran - I never wanted to have, all went exactly like Trump's. And I present Oprah Winfrey's invitation, and appearance, at every Democratic Party Convention, as evidence those insane debates were just as real, instructive, and destructive, as the one just seen on ABC News. The Democrats want to forget about them, or wish we would, because that's how we got to this place: Americans, being as looney - and as intolerable in their lunacy - as Donald Trump.

 

BTW - if you want to know the difference between Trump's two administrations - as you can see above, after his first election win, Rachel Maddow assured viewers we're "not in Hell." But, here, at the start of his second administration, John Oliver just assured Terry Moran he not only made the trip "Downtown" but even got a personal tour.

Which should answer The Atlantic's question "Is This the Worst-Ever Era of American Pop Culture?" pretty decisively. I mean, Trump was a "celebrity" before he was a "politician," so we're straddling the fence now, or combining the two, but - whatever you call it - Taylor Swift's Palestinian Genocide Tour definitely greased the wheels for America, finally, scraping the bottom of the cultural barrel. Somebody make a casserole. We've arrived. 

 

Clint Eastwood's "High Plains Drifter" Is Just A Ghost Story In Western Dress-Up

DON'T MENTION PROSTITUTION WHEN AN UGLY OUT-OF-SHAPE CONSERVATIVE UBER-RICH MEDIA BARON CAN "MARRY" FIVE TIMES:

  Rupert Murdoch marries beautiful bride Elena Zhukova in warm sunshine at his California vineyard

LOOK IT UP - MACHO DOESN'T MEAN UNFAIR:

  How Mexico, bastion of machismo, got a female president before the U.S.

WOMEN INITIATE 70% OF DIVORCES - THUS WORLD PAIN:

  The pain of loss is felt in much the same way as physical pain

PRO-TIP - TAKE ALL YOUR FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE FROM WHORES: 

Stormy Daniels urges Melania Trump to leave husband Donald now

HALF OF AMERICANS THINK RACHEL MADDOW IS A JOURNALIST:

  Half of Americans think Trump's guilty verdict was correct, should end campaign: POLL

THEY SAY SHE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR U.S. SOCIAL MAYHEM BUT THERE'S NO ADVERTISING IT OR NEWS REPORTS AND DOCUMENTARIES SHOWING HOW:

  Oprah Kicks Off Pride Month

LIBERALS REALLY LIKE BEING LIED TO:

  Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow Are Luring Liberals Back to cable TV 

    

 MLK'S "DREAM" HAS BEEN ACHIEVED: 

Justin Bieber Gave Odell Beckham Jr. Oral Sex At Diddy Party, Jaguar Wright & Tokyo Toni Allege

TRYING TO MAKE LOSING "AMERICAN IDOL" MATTER:

  David Archuleta on leaving the Mormon church, coming out and 'living a meaningful life'

GOD, GIVE ME STRENGTH, AFTER YOU MADE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME:

  Kathie Lee Gifford turned to faith after her husband's affair: 'I was never the same'

REWARDING THE FAKEST OF FAKE RITUALS:

  Stunning image of man leaping through fire during Hindu ritual among the winners of National Geographic Traveller Photography Competition 

   

IT'S A GAME OF "CAT AND MOUSE" - YOU'RE THE MOUSE:

  Robert Irwin becomes latest target in scam that's fleeced $8 million from Aussies 

   

 REMEMBER WHEN THE INTERNET PROMISED TO MAKE US SMARTER THAN THIS?

  British-born Carlo Acutis - aka God's Influencer - died aged 15 in 2006 after a life of piety and online preaching... Now he is set to become the Patron Saint of the Internet

YOUR LIFE IS EASY WHEN A DERMATOLOGIST CAN FIX IT:

  Woman Shares Aftermath As Tattoo Goes Wrong—'Never Regretted Anything More'

OR THE BEST THING EVER:

Ozempic users are shedding pounds — and hair: ‘A real nightmare’

TRUMP JURORS MADE JOY BEHAR WET HERSELF:

  To pee or not to pee? That is a question for the bladder—and the brain

DONALD J. TRUMP - FATHER OF US ALL:

  Every blue eyed person on Earth is a descendant of one single person, scientists find

TRUST NO ONE:

  ‘Trust Jesus’ MAGA bus crashes on way to Trump rally

OH, COME ON, D:

  Trump Pretends He Never Called for Hillary to Be Locked Up

BILL CLINTON'S CULT LEADER KEN WILBER HAD A "THEORY OF EVERYTHING" THAT HILLARY ONCE SAID SHE WAS AFTER: 

A physicist dismantles Terrence Howard's nonsensical "theory of everything" 

   

 FUNNY THAT "SCIENCE" DIDN'T SAY THAT AT THE TIME - AND WHERE WAS NEAL DEGRASSE TYSON'S SORRY ASS?

  In the pandemic, we were told to keep 6 feet apart. There’s no science to support that.

IT'S JUST WATER BUT - OF COURSE - THAT'S NEVER THE ISSUE: 

Homeopathic dispensaries reel under shortage of dispensers

HUH - DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING:

  Judge dismisses 'pyramid scheme' lawsuit versus Herbalife, CEO 

     

 THIS WAS THE FIRST UNFUNNY EPISODE OF SNL'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" 

   

 YOU WERE AMAZING - THANKS, ED - AND "GOODNIGHT":

  Ed Mann, Frank Zappa's Longtime Percussionist, Dead at 70

The True Meaning Of 'Gangsta'

"Liberals are cheering on the criminalization of politics."

 

 

The liberals cheering once said "There's not going to be a President Trump." But, instead of wrestling with how wrong they've been over the past seven years (I repeat: the past seven years) Hillary Clinton and the Democrat Party attacked their own supporters, flattering them as smart after their critical faculties got snarled in years-long cases without evidence, merit, or conclusion. So what's not to cheer?

They's some baaaad mothafuckas. 

 

The Blind Side (To Spirituality In Politics)

The same people to honor and celebrate Hillary Clinton's Russia hoax doubt Michael Oher is telling the truth about his life with the Touhys.

Few (including the Touhys apparently) consider Michael Oher could just be confused, while Hillary Clinton ain't, as she relentlessly cackles over America's dark comedy. 

    

I laugh, too, because this is America - as it is - and it's enough to make anyone laugh.

    

We laughed through the Reagan years,...

    

...and we laughed through the Clinton years, too. 

   

All of our corruption is Democrat, so it's hard to go wrong if you point to the Clintons.

    

 Without the Clintons, we wouldn't have a lying Jake Tapper. Not for the last seven years, anyway.

    

Or Rachel Maddow? Come on: She's been a nightmare while we're awake. Remember Election Night, 2016, when she assured us we're "not in Hell"? But now, here she is, presenting everything backwards and upside down - like she's been the one holding us in Hell! 

   

 And, so far, Hillary and the NewAge Nazis seem assured we can't stop any of it. 

   

 But, rest easy, because their kind's been wrong, many, many times before.

 

Solitaire

 

 Is there anything more inspiring of our trust than being told, repeatedly, that the mainstream media has been "ignoring" a major story? And, as they slowly crawl toward the realization that they have to, at least, cope with the truth, what are we to make of them, and what they've been trying to do to us, and our perception of reality? 

   

 This has to be the most attractive picture of Rachel Maddow I've ever seen. She did an interview with Hillary Clinton, where the two projected their party's actions onto their enemies - again. Hillary Clinton has always been the sort of politician who openly laughs when misfortune strikes others, so I wonder about her, psychologically, and what her supporters ever found so attractive - and what they're about, too. There's a maliciousness in her even Donald Trump doesn't possess. But Rachel Maddow certainly does.

   

 One of the world's most popular Historians is a female character who's totally bored with her subject. This fits with a population that could care less about knowing the details of anything that happened before they were born.

When I was born, John F Kennedy was president, and he and his brother went on to have an affair with Marilyn Monroe. And they were mixed up in the Mob through their father. That's probably what got the president killed. Today, we have Joe Biden, a long-term liar, who showered inappropriately with his daughter, and didn't seem to disapprove when his crackhead son started sleeping with his dead son's widow. Both he, and his son, are into the extortion of foreign leaders. There's only been a few good men as president between these two administrations, but - based on what I now know about human nature - I'm not even sure about that. I'm almost not sure about anything anymore, except American never should've let any of this get this far.

 

The Daily Show: Right Over The Target (And It'll Still Be A Miss)

 

The people who've insisted "life is an illusion" and we must "question authority" (and even "reality isn't real") started the plague of conspiracy theories - not a bunch of wild-eyed patriots who don't fear Donald Trump just because Rachel Maddow gave them the high sign. But Jordan Keppler's just getting around to them. Almost as an afterthought. And this piece will be the end of his interest.

Because NewAge has the whole world turned upside-down.

 

Chris Cuomo, Rachel Maddow, Wolf Blitzer, And Don Lemon, Would Lose A Debate With Every Conservative News Anchor Working At Fox News Today

It could be the reporter of their choice, and they could go at them as a group, and - clearly - they'd still lose, by a country mile.

 

The Perfect Cold Beverage For Catching A Little Bit Of Rachel Maddow In Peace

“A BBC investigation has found bacteria from faeces in Starbucks, Costa, and Caffe Nero iced drinks”

Shitty coffee? Hey - Liberal newscasts do the same to their viewers, daily, without complaint.

Detonator

So, is everybody enjoying a(nother) Golden Age of American Solipsism? Feeling that up-down, side-to-side motion alright? Stomach drop? Good, that means you’re paying attention.

It doesn’t mean you know what’s going to happen next – they should know that by now - which is my only very-important point. Keep reading anyway.

This is politics. But it ain’t Oprah’s Golden Age of American Solipsism, Part II. That was President Obama, with the false “Hope” and the swagger, and nobody gets a car. (Sand castles, people, washed away with the waves.)

No, this is Trump’s Golden Age of American Solipsism – not even the Republican’s - so there’s less room for crystal balls than usual. Though “The Most Trusted Woman In America” (after making The Secret a best seller) IS coming along for the ride - via 60 Minutes – without a peep from our, oh, so fact-and-science-loving media.

Which means, long before most Democrats were ready, our highly-mediated roller coaster had us already locked-in and left the gate. We’re Fact-Free, and going down.

The result, of course, is what woke me from my stupor: my friends developing this nasty habit, post-Trump, of cornering me with hysterical predictions of doom and almost making me spill my beer. Not cool.

And, to make matters worse, they’re not telling me what “may” (or may not) happen, or what “could” (or could not) occur, but what they KNOW FOR A FACT is going to happen. In the future. (Which doesn’t include buying me another beer.) And it’s all based on the best available, cherry-picked, and highly massaged information they get from the combined forces of Left-wing hate blogs, comedy shows, MSNBC, CNN, and (for some reason) Rachel Maddow.

And THAT is because they refuse to watch FOX, or read anything even slightly-conservative, except as hate speech. Even if it’s gay and uninformed. Not the Rachel Maddow standard.

Yes, my friends are people who have to be convinced, lovingly, compassionately, patiently, and with a pair of tongs, this is not how critical thinking works. And they don’t think that’s strange.

And why would they? The media itself doesn’t find any of this the least bit bizarre. Defying reality, it’s currently defending what it does. Or doesn’t do. Which is good, because – like cops, caught between blacks and the zeitgeist - I couldn’t.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for a fair, sharp, robust media. (And cops.) We need that. But, if you can find one, please send it to America, courtesy of TMR, with a note saying we pay well.

See, rather than “the media” (or my wild-eyed friends) I keep being amazed by journalists like John Carreyrou, the Wall Street Journal’s “lone wolf” who didn’t swallow Elizabeth Holmes’ easily-debunked Theranos story, while all the others did. Swallow it. Whole. For months. Years even. To tout a miracle. To promote a woman. To run a little feel good flim-flam on America. It was like a Golden Age of American Solipsism Special, since we weren’t fully in one, like now.

The best part was how the media, these compassionate people – all - not only were willing to put lives at risk, to tell that specific story (Theranos WAS supposed to be medical tech) but they took some. Or, at least, one seemingly-good guy took his own. And the rest – including, and especially, the woman “the media” was so desperate to promote as Silicon Valley incarnate, while Silicon Valley let them - marched on with their story, right over his dead body. Don’t worry: the Golden Age of American Solipsism passed by it a long time ago.

And see, THAT’s our media. Armed with a narrative. Did you see the movie/horror story, The Big Short? Wasn’t that a great tale of insight, and bravery, on behalf of the American people? A story of epic proportions, that couldn’t be given away. Huh?

Bernie Madoff? Would’ve been “Breaking News” for somebody. A lot of somebodies.

That rape-y “spiritual advisor” at Whole Foods? They’re really leaning on him, am I right?

The “Hot Yoga” guy who, for years, had/made women in Los Angeles masturbate him in public - as he sat atop a dias - but, still, most of the articles I saw were debating if the heat improved the practice.

This is the media that has the nerve to attack Trump, and scare my friends silly while doing so. The media that knows what’s going on, and will gladly tell you so. They can trust them. They KNOW it. They saw it on the TV. They should hold on tight for these turns.

Who you can’t trust are those pesky Russians. The NYT (finally) said so – long after their totally credulous articles on pet psychics.

And, speaking of Russia, Rasputin himself, Steve Bannon – ooh, he’s bad. Really, anyone but professional politicians running government is probably not the best idea. Might be KKK. But that’s crazy talk. This is America.

Look at Utah Senator Orrin Hatch. Blessed with the name, Orrin, you couldn’t find a more upstanding individual, to uphold the standards and honor of the American people, if you tried. But try anyway: I saw him with his Big Boy choo-choo train hat on, so he’s obviously helping to run this ride.

I knew it when he asked Congressman Tom Price, Trump’s candidate for the head of Health and Human Services, if he would uphold DSHEA (the crazy law allowing supplement manufacturers not to prove their products are safe, or even work, before going on supermarket shelves) and Price said “Yes” - to not a peep from our guardians in the media. Why, Ol’ Orrin didn’t even look around. It went right over, or under, their heads.

Oh yeah, that’s when I KNEW the Senator from America’s number one supplement manufacturing state was up top, probably murmuring a saying from Joseph Smith, with his hand, not on The Bible or The Book of Mormon, but the “release” lever for somebody’s life. Just like Theranos.

Just like Oprah did, with Dr. Oz, seeing how the media’s always been so aggressively trying to call-out fraud and all. Fully HALF of Oz’s information was found to be wrong and he’s still on television. Doing fine. Feeling no heat whatsoever. Because we simply are moving too fast. I think, maybe. Or are we?

Yep – it’s getting to me now: feeling whoozy – so I better get off. Can I get off? Is observing a Golden Age of American Solipsism the same as being on it? Can you dose yourself with LSD and not forget you took it? TRUMP-Grade, Media-Saturated, LSD? I don’t know. I simply don’t know. But I do, still, know this:

We have no idea what’s going to happen next – and the ride’s just started: somebody actually could start doing their job,…