The Whole Set-Up Makes Perfect Sense To Me

"I was born and raised into a cult -- a religious cult; which is probably the reason why I'm no longer religious. They were very into sex, you know. It's what they used to get what they wanted. So, most of the children I know who grew up there were sexually molested."

-- Naduah, a contestant on "America's Next Top Model," explaining something that couldn't have happened - not with so many kind, caring, and aware people around - yet it did, which says everything you need to know about how kind, caring, and aware people are, on ET Online.

Klum-A-Palooza

NEW YORK — Three people were arrested and six others hurt Saturday after bedlam broke out while hundreds waited to audition for "America's Next Top Model," police said.

Police didn't know what prompted the chaos involving hundreds of people outside the Park Central New York hotel in Manhattan. The panic left the street outside the hotel littered with shoes and clothing, according to news reports.

"It was pretty scary," Jessica Paravati told WNYW-TV. She said she was caught up in a stampede after waiting on line overnight, hoping for a shot at stardom on the reality show. FOX News

In what scientists call “The Klum Effect”, organizers were trying in vain to get the brainy, aspiring models into some sort of organized line, which was beyond the comprehension and skill level of the average wannabe, when a nearby car overheated.

At that point, one of the Klumers decided the steam from the car was a bomb meant for the models, and set off the “Running of the Labia” on a scale even Pamplona, Spain has never seen.

Yes, Klumers, everything IS about you.