An Atheist's Prayer (There's A 1st For Everything, Bub)

Dear God, 

 Please make Chris Christie the President so, at least, NewAgers will have to finally shut up about their frustrations with Americans speaking and being American:

“I think folks around here know that I am willing to take as well as I give,” he said. “I didn’t wake up this morning worried and petrified about what Maureen Dowd on the op-ed page of The New York Times thinks about me. 

“If you wake up as a Republican and worry about what the op-ed page of The New York Times thinks about you, you are going to be in a constant state of crisis.” 

Christie defended his calling the New York Daily News reporter “a dope,” saying he is free in expressing his opinion. He added the newspaper was well within its right to express its opinion when it referred to the New Jersey governor as “fatso” in a recent headline. 

“I don’t worry about this stuff. Whenever you express opinions in this world, other people have opinions about your opinions, and that’s OK,” he said. “So, you know, I thought a particular reporter was a dope, I said so, and I heard him on the radio today … and he seems like a very nice young man, a dope nonetheless, but a nice young man.”

Brilliant - just what I'm looking for:

Really, God, make this one happen and I'll make a note of it,....

 

Strangelove: Lady GaGa Protects Her Essence

Ahem. It seems The New York Daily News is reporting more "off-beat" information about our pro-illegal immigration NewAge spirit hunter, Lady GaGa, which they gleaned from reading Vanity Fair - check this out:

"I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina."

If you ask me, she ought to be more afraid that it's escaping through her mouth. For instance, I don't know about anyone else, but, it does occur to me, we've heard a variation on this theme before somewhere:



Next up: someone will have to check if GaGa's only drinking distilled rain water,...

"Love The One You're With" = Really Bad Advice

"A best-selling self-help guru is suing the rich Long Island man who she says romanced her and then left her high, dry - and pregnant.

Karen Salmansohn, author of 'How To Be Happy, Dammit' and 'The Prince Harming Syndrome,' claims Mitchell Leff paid $28,000 for her fertility treatments and promised to marry her within 24 hours of his divorce being finalized.

But the 49-year-old author and radio show host contends Leff dumped her last Dec. 15 - a mere 24 hours after Salmansohn told him she was pregnant.

'I already raised two kids, I don't want to raise any more,' Leff told her, according to the suit filed Monday in Manhattan Supreme Court.

The suit says Leff then cut off her off financially, after having lavished her with gifts that included a $10,000 Tiffany ring, kitchen renovations and a Paris hotel.

On top of that, the suit says, Leff, 51, never filed for a divorce from his wife, Pamela.

A lawyer for Salmansohn, whose Web site describes her as 'Deepak Chopra meets Carrie Bradshaw' did not immediately return calls.

Leff is described in the court papers as a wealthy Laundromat owner, real estate investor and bookie."

-- Jose Martinez, with the tale of another NewAger who just couldn't help it - she had to make a fool of herself one way or another - because her commitment to truth and honesty meant her lack of credibility eventually had to be revealed, even if it's not in her books, but in the pages of The New York Daily News.

Man, Those Evil Spirits Do Get Around

"Determined to drive the evil spirits out of her daughter, a Queens mom performed a bizarre voodoo fire ritual that left the 6-year-old girl scarred for life, prosecutors say.

Frantzcia Saintil was 'engulfed in flames,' but Marie Lauradin was deaf to her daughter's screams as she let the girl burn, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown charged Thursday.

Eventually, Frantzcia's grandmother doused the flames with frigid water, but instead of getting the girl help they put her to bed, Brown said.

Frantzcia remained there for a day before another relative begged them to take the little girl to the hospital, Brown said.

When doctors finally saw her, Frantzcia had second- and third-degree burns covering 25% of her body, including her face, torso and legs, court papers state.

Lauradin, 29, a Haitian immigrant, was charged in Queens criminal court with assault and endangering the welfare of a child. She faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted.

...Frantzcia was at her home in Queens Village when her mother began performing a ritual that Brown called 'Loa.'

The Loa are actually spirits in the Voodoo religion who, like Christian saints, serve as intermediaries between God and mankind, according to various Web sites.

Lauradin sprayed a circle of rum on the floor around her daughter and ignited it, police said. Then she poured some of it on the girl's head - and pushed her into the flaming circle.

Confronted by cops, Lauradin initially claimed she was boiling rice in a pot when the girl 'startled' her, causing her to spill the scalding water on her, Brown said.

Lauradin also said it was her mom's idea to give Frantzcia a bath and put her to bed instead of taking her immediately to the hospital. She claimed she didn't even notice the girl was burned until they got to the emergency room.

Brown said they learned the truth after Frantzcia told her foster caregiver what really happened."

-- Nicole Bode and Corky Siemaszko, with another sad, yet powerful tale of common belief - This could happen to anybody! - splattered in The New York Daily News.

Making It Easy On Everybody

"I am a loser."

-- Ted Haggard, the former president of the National Association of Evangelicals (and senior pastor of the New Life Church) who was discovered using male prostitutes and drugs, in The New York Daily News.