TMR File Dump, Part I

So what do we write about today? That's a dumb question since I'm fuckin' back-logged with NewAge nonsense. Let's try to lighten the file:

The conventional wisdom is coalescing around the idea that Hillary Clinton's candidacy is taking on the dynamics of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. (Something I alluded to a while back.) It's just a matter of time before feminists demand Dan Rather referee a Democratic debate, finally giving Hillary an opportunity to spout their rallying cry, "I won't be ignored, Dan!"

That terrible songwriter, Robbie Williams, says he's seen a U.F.O three times. Williams claims he "plans to study alien and extra-terrestrial lifeforms once he quits pop music." (Yea, sure. Knowing the landscape, my guess is he'll be content with the celestial bodies of his fans.) His claim is unquestionably amazing though, because I've stared at the stars my whole life and seen only one U.F.O., but (time and space being what they are) it was Robbie Williams' entire music career flashing before my eyes.

Some poor idiot, living in (get this) Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa, is suing Sexy Sadie's outfit for giving her lead poisoning. Frances Gaskell "had a blood lead level of 102 micrograms per deciliter — more than 20 times the level considered safe by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [and] underwent chelation therapy while pregnant, but her child was born with an elevated blood lead level of 60 micrograms per deciliter." She "underwent chelation therapy while pregnant"? Like I said, "some poor idiot",...read the article anyway, and marvel at how the reporter, Erika Binegar (which rhymes with "vinegar" maybe?) only talks to Sexy Sadie's people so she can print their denials. This is journalism?

The price of food is going up - also something I predicted once the organic food boom started - so it doesn't surprise me that Amy Brnger (yes, that woman who's missing a vowel) is reportedly buying "fewer organic products, which can cost twice as much as conventional goods." (Isn't it funny how the price of food makes all that hooey about our supposed health needs go right out the window? Now that the downside is hitting, any ol' thing, from any ol' supermarket, will do. But, of course, it's too late for us now, because the horse is out of the barn already. It's gone.) People are going to say - as that article does - rising food prices are all about the rising price of oil, but that's bullshit: Oil prices are rising on "speculation" - guesses about what's going to happen - and all the NewAge guessing has been wrong. (No surprise there.) Follow me - I'm simplifying (a lot) but it's still true:

1) The NewAgers have been speculating we're all going to die from Bush's policies, the environment, traditional food production, etc.

2) People outside of our borders groove on NewAge demoralization and, quite rationally, make moves based on those impressions - terrorists fight harder, environmentalists scream louder, Arabs raise oil prices, etc.

3) We get fucked. There's no "universal love" coming our way, that's for sure, and there won't be - especially if we lose our leadership position.

Conclusion: NewAgers are fucking up life for America and, it follows, for everyone else.

I told you I'm simplifying (a lot).

Like (my man) Christopher Hitchens says, "Religion poisons everything."

Let me get some food in my stomach, and take care of a few other important things, and I'll be back to drop some more shit on you (imagery, folks, deal with the imagery.).