Oranges And White Bread Is A Healthy Dinner, Right? (If Not, I Seriously Think I'm Going To Die)

" Just imagine, for a moment, a Chuck Schumer or John McCain standing up in the U.S. Senate to call for a probe into John Travolta's bizarro buddies and the allegations -- proven many times over in numerous court cases -- that Scientology is more economic scam than 'religion.'"

-- Tony Ortega, in The Village Voice.

I hear you, buddy. Really.

But then I'd have to imagine a totally different world - one where people were capable of serious thought - but, under the circumstances, that's just not realistic:

"James Arthur Ray had spent the money that customers prepaid for future events when his business collapsed in October, according to a class-action lawsuit a Tucson attorney filed against Ray.

In the suit, filed by local lawyer Todd Jackson, plaintiffs estimate that 1,000 or more people had prepaid James Ray International for future events when three people died at a Ray event near Sedona on Oct. 3. When Ray's business subsequently stopped holding new events, no money was left to pay back customers who had prepaid as much as $12,000 for future events, the complaint says.

Jackson, representing Ray customers Susan Smyser, Patricia Franklin and Kim Wilson, filed the suit in Maricopa County Superior Court April 2.

The three women had separately fronted about $24,000 to Ray's company for events scheduled for 2009, 2010 and even 2011: '21st Century Alchemy 2010,' 'Urban Shaman,' 'Quantum Leap 2009,' and 'Practical Mysticism 2010,' among others."

-- The Arizona Daily Star

Now how can I imagine a truly "enlightened" world when I see women so stupid it could be argued they already got their money's worth out of these deals:

Using 21st Century Alchemy, this Urban Shaman took their minds on a Quantum Leap into Practical Mysticism, and now their money is gone, too.

See? The "spiritual contract" is fulfilled! It worked! Lesson learned. You're goofy, bless your heart, now get outta here.

But then they do get outta here, and then what happens?

"A self-described Wiccan had a man's phone number programmed in her cell phone under the word 'sacrifice' before she stabbed him to death, then claimed he had tried to rape her, authorities said Thursday."

-- Sue Major Holmes, writing for The Associated Press.

They're NewAgers, people:

You can't turn your back on 'em for a second.