HELP! (They're Coming To Get Me, Man!!!!)

Shit. See, unlike other bloggers, I get the kind of crap that's both funny and life-and-death, though hardly anyone but me knows it's both funny and life-and-death, because they don't take it seriously and I do - but fuck, I just want to drink my coffee.

This one starts like those Mitt Romney donation letters I've been getting lately:

Dear  Mr  Crack，  

I  am ____ from University of  San Francisco, I was bothered by a problem these days, I need your advice.  

Here is what happened: My schoolmate of  Department of History who is a falundafa practitioner from China, recommended falundafa to me. She said falundafa is a high-level cultivation practice guided by the characteristics of the universe, lihongzhi, the founder of falundafa, is the king of kings, who comes to the earth to save people before doomsday. My friend also asked me to join falundafa, for not to lose the ladder to ascend to heaven. Li promises his followers that practicing Falun Gong can automatically “eliminate the karma” and cure their sickness and there is no need to seek medical help.     

I feel it is absolutely absurd. But she talk me about it again and again. I don’t know much about it ,is it true? Is it cult? How do you think about falundafa? Please kindly give me some advice, thanks

 Wow - I'm not surprised. Yeah, it's a cult; one allowed to flourish in the San Francisco Bay Area:

I've spoken before the Board of Supervisors, several times, about cultish influence in San Francisco - to yawns. Cults are everywhere in The City but - seeing how everyone's so "open-minded" - no one will identify them for what they are, claiming they're a human rights issue (Board of Supervisor Chris Daly) a free speech issue (Investigative Reporter Phil Matier) or, in the case of Yoga cults, an exercise issue (many of my, already overly-health conscious, friends - who really ought to know better). The danger cultish thinking poses, and the fraud cultish thinkers commit, has no effect in a warped-out city where many residents believe they're psychic and it's an act of bravery to say otherwise.

Give 'em the finger.