"That's A Good Deal, Paisley: L.L. Will Forget 250 Years Of Enslavement If You Accept His Taste In Accessories"

The Colbert Report
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Darryl Hall's Dabblings In Occultism Appear To Pay Off

"Not a single living person of color got into the Rock Hall this year. Among the Class of 2014, only the late Clarence Clemons—inducted as a sideman with the E Street Band—is black. (For the record, this has happened only once before in the Hall’s 28-year history: In 2003, the only black inductee was deceased sideman Benny Benjamin.) It’s not as if the roughly 600 Rock Hall voters didn’t have African-Americans to choose from on this year’s ballot—the shortlist included a bunch, all previously nominated and passed over more than once: LL Cool J, N.W.A, the Meters, and Chic. On the other hand, this year the Hall will induct Daryl Hall and John Oates—an act with a long history of soul-music appreciation that once even topped the R&B chart—so Rock Hall voters are honoring the sound of black music. Just not actual black people."

"To be honest, 2013 was a tough year for Black folks. Every year has its share of racist activity and bad news, but there was something about this year that made it seem like White people had set claims on aspects of Black culture in ways they never had before.

We'll admit, this isn't the first time (Elvis anyone?), and it certainly won't be the last, but it was quite possibly the most painfully obvious."

Pete The Skeet Speaks: Dude, It's Time To Go!!!

"Californification is liberalism run amuck: more services for illegals and handouts gallore. Broke-ass Cali. Time for a staunch conservative administration to kick butt, take over, and deport all the illegals.

Utah citizens have more guns than criminals; the roads are good, parking is available, doing business is user friendly, the housing's affordable, common sense is plentiful, heterosexuality is abundant, food and utilities are cheap and there are jobs. The down side...snow, cold, and sundays can be quiet - but there's plenty of water, fuel and resources, and good looking women who shave."

Say no more - and save me a beer, Holmes:

I'm outta here!!!