Seeking Truth? Here: Have A Little Bit Of Mine

My, my, my.

One of the reasons I love following NewAge is to study betrayal. Like the Mafia, once you're involved in NewAge, it's really hard to get out. And one way or another, sooner or later, you know somebody's going to get whacked.

"The psychic business is built on lies. There is no supernatural power. You can't see the future. We're in the golden age of the con. There are people coming out of the woodwork that would love to separate you from your money,...that's the bottom line.

First you've got the belief system, which is a fraud, and thus a betrayal of followers. It is they who must go around, sounding like idiots, because somebody flattered them with some metaphysical jargon that sounded right but, upon any close inspection, is really just vague nonsense that could apply to anyone or, pretty much, any situation.

"They like to imagine I'm in some far off convent but really I'm ironing at home."

Then you've got the evangelicals. But not evangelicals in the Christian sense - where they (for the most part) actually "believe" what they're spreading - but the uniformly cynical, calculating, corrupt, cold, and capricious leaders of the NewAge Movement. They don't "believe" in NewAge - they're con men - to them, the world is here for the fleecing, and, if you're dumb enough to let it happen, then you only have yourself to blame. Again: you betrayed yourself.

But they betrayed you, too.

The difference is they know it.

"I'd try to be compassionate and sound as new age as you can."

Next come the followers. The believers. The saps.

They take the bogus belief system the evangelicals give them and then proceed to wreck havoc with it. Think John Edwards and Rielle Hunter. There they are, talking about "truth" and "compassion", while literally destroying whatever meaning those words hold, just as they were destroying whatever reputations they had previously. Even Rielle's NewAge girlfriend, Pigeon O'Brian, said she didn't think the integrity-ladened woman she knew would betray another woman, with cancer, over a man. Well, think again, Pigeon. Using NewAge, Reille Hunter will betray anyone, and everything she ever said she was about.

What am I saying? She already has!

"Common sense is the same as intuition. In our society we've lost touch with that."

Which brings me to the final victims in this cha-cha-chain of fools: those who find themselves merely in the personal vicinity of a NewAger. Oh, they're going to be betrayed, there's no doubt about it - it's impossible not to happen - the only questions are When? Where? and How?

Think of the baby in the Thomas Sam murder case. He was too young to understand, or hold, a belief system. He wasn't a believer. He died because his parents were saps, who believed in various quack evangelicals, and the homeopathic nonsense they were peddling, nothing more. Another example is the husband who took his wife to hear a friend of Oprah, only to end up divorced. And, of course, those folks who attended the sweat lodge of another of Oprah's friends, James Arthur Ray, only to find themselves dead - and their families crushed.

Gee, thanks, Oprah. You're the moral leader of the nation.

But it doesn't stop there: we can't finish without mentioning the flip-side of the equation - the followers who attempt to get out, and what happens to them.

First, there's probably going to be years of psychological therapy needed to wipe the chuckle-headed ideas from their brain, which is a betrayal of the belief system that told them they were special (or possessed magic powers) all those years.

Then the evangelicals speak ill of them, claiming they're "Suppressive Personalities" or liars or whatever. Now the former believer must fight to re-establish their integrity after possibly decades of saying the opposite was true of what they're claiming now.

Then the other followers come after them. They are abandoned, spoken ill of, attacked as crazy and, in many cases, their lives sabotaged by those same "loving" and "compassionate" people they couldn't live without previously.

And then, once again, there are the poor friends and families that must deal with all the believer has been/is still putting them through. They were totally ill-equipped to deal with the commotion of the believer's supposed revelation, the destruction the belief system wrecked on them (interpersonal and otherwise) or the fall-out once the follower starts to come to their senses.

It's just too big.

Now, multiply all this by the number of believers out there (Millions? Billions?) and then you can start to appreciate the scope of the problem.

How is anything supposed to go anywhere, but down, when we've got this type of mayhem now built into Western culture?

I mean, these people and groups are now part of every aspect of our lives - entertainment, politics, medicine, and science - every one of them working to undermine what we know, with what they want us to believe, and daring us to do something about it.

If you think about it seriously, and use it as context, I think it explains almost everything that's been currently happening in our lives.

And that's the truth.

NewAge Is (Finally) Getting Off The Ground

It's about time.

I was just mentioning, yesterday, that there aren't enough documentaries on NewAge. I've, also, covered a bunch of the subjects in this movie - Transcendental Meditation, the Maharishi's death, Yogic "Flying", the embarrassment in Germany as TM's crew of weirdoes got booed for spouting Nazi slogans - but I didn't ever think anyone was actually filming it all.

Well, somebody was, and the resulting movie is called David Wants To Fly - a title which is close enough to Werner Herzog's Little Deiter Wants To Fly that, like that film, it's sure to provide more-than-a-few chuckles amid some really surreal NewAge moments.

So, buckle-up meditators, and hop/fly on down to the local cineplex - these are your people, in all their twisted glory, revealed by someone who came to you for "help".

I'll be the black guy in the back of the joint, laughing my ass off at all you paid-up (and life-long) "searchers", only now discovering the truth:

"Gurus don't sell their knowledge, they share it."

[Click the tags, below, to know more about the lunacy of TM.]

Biff! Bam! Pow! CRACK! (The Sound Of Justice)

Now, Tea Partiers, since everybody wants to know what "the next step" is, here's some pure politics, served up ripe, directly from The New York Times itself:

"Not long ago, a team of researchers watched a 1-year-old boy take justice into his own hands. The boy had just seen a puppet show in which one puppet played with a ball while interacting with two other puppets. The center puppet would slide the ball to the puppet on the right, who would pass it back. And the center puppet would slide the ball to the puppet on the left . . . who would run away with it. Then the two puppets on the ends were brought down from the stage and set before the toddler. Each was placed next to a pile of treats. At this point, the toddler was asked to take a treat away from one puppet. Like most children in this situation, the boy took it from the pile of the 'naughty' one. But this punishment wasn’t enough — he then leaned over and smacked the puppet in the head."

That's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh uh-huh! That's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I liiiike it, uh-huh uh-huh!

Yes, like the fall of the Berlin Wall, seeing the political Left getting popped upside the head is an event I anxiously look forward to. It's not enough for me to know their ideas have been debunked, or defeated, as their proponents walk away rich, famous, and their crimes forgotten - I want to see them destroyed - and their ears boxed, too.

Here's what I'd do with power:

I'd put Al Gore in the dock for treason.

I'd make sure Oprah Winfrey & Co. followed him for fraud.

I'd put The Family International cult in prison for child abuse, Scientology for racketeering, and anyone in The Landmark Forum, NXIVM, or even just claiming to be a "guru", would appear regularly on AMERICA'S MOST WANTED as a person with connections to Al Qaeda.

Anyone claiming to be a prophet, or a psychic, will be forced to live under armed guard on the island of Diego Garcia. (We won't really need the weaponry for this crowd: I'm just a sucker for imagery.)

Anyone caught doing something that used to be called "crazy" will automatically be sent to what is, once again, called "The Crazy House".

And anyone, of any color, found playing up an unnecessary racial/sexual/gay angle - on almost anything - will automatically be outfitted in a clown suit and make-up, a sign reading "I'm a lumberjack and I'm O.K." strapped around their neck, and then marched before TV cameras in the United States' first ever 10-year-long, 24 Hour, nation-wide, Post-Pride Perp Walk Parade, led by Al Sharpton and Charles Blow as they teach themselves to juggle - brought to you by the new MSFOXBC.

Feminists can only find work as the parade's trash collectors (everyone would have the right to tell Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow what to do "next") and those refuse trucks that do most of the heavy lifting?

They ain't nowhere to be found,...

Just as I never have to see this sickening spectacle again.

O.K., back to work:

Married? Committing adultery? Got caught? Great:

You and your "special friend" lose everything - and I mean everything - to your spouse, including the clothes on your back.

No caveats, no excuses, no questions asked.

Your dumb ass should've asked for a divorce first. If your spouse wants to give you your stuff back, or let you "see" the kids, fine.

I was only trying to help.

Recycling, yoga, and all non-prescription supplements would be outlawed. Generation X and Y would be drafted. Anti-vaccine kooks would be isolated and then (you guessed it) given dis-eases.

From India.


Oh, man, American foreign policy would be totally different:

I'd ask Israel who they wanted attacked, and then attack 'em. Just to do it. Just "because". Just for fun.

The Jews deserve some fun.

I'd invite Mexican diplomats over, to explain that Cinco de Mayo ain't a really big deal in Mexico, and it's stupid for Americans to celebrate it since we ain't Mexican or French.

How's this for a political policy: if France looks at us cross-eyed, one more time, they get nuked.

Yea, I know: I like it, too.

And France - with San Francisco's help, since it's the "Paris of the West" - must rebuild Haiti; Belgium must do missionary work in the Congo; and North Korea will fall under a CIA-orchestrated dictatorship, led by The Rick Ross Institute.

Actually, now that I think about it, Russia can have Madonna.

My treat.

And Rush Limbaugh would be allowed to run for president - unopposed.

If he doesn't want to do it, so be it, I tried.

Where was I?

Oh yea, doing what I love:

Claim you can perform miracles:

Automatic death sentence.

Are you a member of GreenPeace or the World Wildlife Fund?

Automatic death sentence.

Get caught performing quackery:

Automatic death sentence - with a move-to-the-head-of-the-line provision for homeopaths. (If there's cancer involved, in any way, your next-of-kin, or the youngest person in your family, gets treated as lab animals. Just try me.)

New rules:

If you want to live at work, you can live at work, as long as you work.

New history:

Barack Obama's presidency?

There was no Barack Obama presidency.

The Green Movement is described to history students as a continuation of the Nazis, and a further attempt to take advantage of us all; they were just starting with the Jews.

Of course, the Jews have to help us out a little, here. I'll scratch their backs if they scratch mine.

And Art is the new religion.