I Was Forced Into This (As Well As Forced Out Of It,...)

When you've walked in my shoes, this joke just never gets old:

"In the 1990s, [Dionne Warwick] became the public face of the Psychic Friends Network, a telephone service that connected callers with clairvoyants for $3.99 a minute. It earned her $3 million a year before the corporation that owned the service went into bankruptcy. 

Critics of Ms Warwick's own bankruptcy filing have taken to web forums to joke that, given her experience with the Psychic Friends Network, she should have seen her money troubles coming."

Here's another joke I'm enjoying (immensely) today: 

 Dear Dionne, 

 You should follow the advice of feminist law professor Ann Althouse and call your mother, to thank her for not aborting you, and allowing you a chance to rip off your delusional "sisters," and other of your fellow Americans, to the tune of $3 million dollars a year. 

They would've known better, if they read like I do, but look at the bright side: 

 $3 million is more money than Ann's making from misinformation,...

 

That "Little Prayer" She Said For Me Didn't Work Either

You know how I feel about art and music - and the people that make them - so let's hear it for the news "Singer Dionne Warwick owes nearly $10 million in back taxes and has filed for bankruptcy":

Didn't she do the psychic infomercials for awhile? She should have "known" this was going to happen.

I knew that comment was going to happen - it's the first - and, taken together, they're extremely gratifying,...

 

The Time Is Now (Nobody Sees The Future)

"High-profile divination has had a pretty rocky history. One of the biggest fortune-telling concerns, the Psychic Friends Network, has drawn criticisms about its stable of C-list stars. Long story short, if the network was so good, why didn't it tell Dionne Warwick, William Katt, or any of its other shills that their careers were headed south?"

-- Bruce Watson, while bringing us news of the "bedpan-shaped" premium Panchang fortune-telling watch - made by the Swiss company, Borgeaud, with (ha-ha) Indian astrologers - which is supposed to alert the wearer to "when disaster is poised to strike" (no, we're not making this up) and is priced for suckers between $2,000 and $250,000, to (disaster alert!) make their Wallet Pop.