DON'T MENTION PROSTITUTION WHEN AN UGLY OUT-OF-SHAPE CONSERVATIVE UBER-RICH MEDIA BARON CAN "MARRY" FIVE TIMES:
LOOK IT UP - MACHO DOESN'T MEAN UNFAIR:
WOMEN INITIATE 70% OF DIVORCES - THUS WORLD PAIN:
PRO-TIP - TAKE ALL YOUR FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE FROM WHORES:
HALF OF AMERICANS THINK RACHEL MADDOW IS A JOURNALIST:
THEY SAY SHE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR U.S. SOCIAL MAYHEM BUT THERE'S NO ADVERTISING IT OR NEWS REPORTS AND DOCUMENTARIES SHOWING HOW:
LIBERALS REALLY LIKE BEING LIED TO:
MLK'S "DREAM" HAS BEEN ACHIEVED:
TRYING TO MAKE LOSING "AMERICAN IDOL" MATTER:
GOD, GIVE ME STRENGTH, AFTER YOU MADE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME:
REWARDING THE FAKEST OF FAKE RITUALS:
IT'S A GAME OF "CAT AND MOUSE" - YOU'RE THE MOUSE:
REMEMBER WHEN THE INTERNET PROMISED TO MAKE US SMARTER THAN THIS?
YOUR LIFE IS EASY WHEN A DERMATOLOGIST CAN FIX IT:
OR THE BEST THING EVER:
TRUMP JURORS MADE JOY BEHAR WET HERSELF:
DONALD J. TRUMP - FATHER OF US ALL:
TRUST NO ONE:
OH, COME ON, D:
BILL CLINTON'S CULT LEADER KEN WILBER HAD A "THEORY OF EVERYTHING" THAT HILLARY ONCE SAID SHE WAS AFTER:
FUNNY THAT "SCIENCE" DIDN'T SAY THAT AT THE TIME - AND WHERE WAS NEAL DEGRASSE TYSON'S SORRY ASS?
IT'S JUST WATER BUT - OF COURSE - THAT'S NEVER THE ISSUE:
HUH - DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING:
THIS WAS THE FIRST UNFUNNY EPISODE OF SNL'S "WEEKEND UPDATE"
YOU WERE AMAZING - THANKS, ED - AND "GOODNIGHT":
