Minge: “Whaaaat!”

That was the scream Minge reportedly let out on hearing her application for transfer of title for a child was denied.

According to the Daily Mail:

“She kept burying her face in her hands,” said the source. “She was really in shock.”

The rest of the story is here.

Nobody, but nobody tells Minge ‘NO’ (because she hasn’t met us).

We thought we heard a report that Minge became worried when she first learned the judge this time is a woman. It’s said she complained “I was within a hand-job or two of pulling this off, and now everything is ruined”.

O.K., ponder this:

Can it really be said a child would be better off with the excessive wealth of a woman without discernable values, morals or even decency? Does the money cancel out the malignant narcissism, public promiscuity, bad temper, oppressive Kabbalah rules and a revolving door of pissed off nannies?

If Minge were to set aside her own slimy agenda, she could simply build a house for the baby and her family, fund a business where they could all work and then leave them alone.

“I Want A Man With Nuclear Power” – Carla Bruni (Or: You Know The President Of France? Yeah, Buddy - HE Certainly Married Well,...)

Has Carla Bruni turned shy? French First Lady's awkward moment as she leans in to kiss Barack Obama... then changes her mind.

Over the last few days Barack Obama has charmed the entire world.

And today it appeared his charisma overwhelmed the French First Lady.

It is usual in France to greet one another with a kiss - but the best Mr Obama could get out of a suddenly flustered Carla Bruni was a handshake.

-– The Daily Mail

Unusual for someone who would normally be in a men’s room stall sitting on the face of whatever guy she met in the prior thirty minutes. That unexpected impulse control probably pushed her to the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Important Safety Tip:

If you want to get married and have a nice life with your spouse, do not marry anyone who has said the things, especially in public, that Bruni has said:

“I’m monogamous from time to time, but I prefer polygamy and polyandry.”

“I am easily bored with monogamy."

"Love lasts a long time, but burning desire — two to three weeks.”

With condolences to Mr. Sarkozy, those quotes are a matter of record, in both word and deed, and completely trump these speculative claims:

"I can no longer seduce because I love my husband."

"I don't want to hurt him. I am no longer a man-eater."

Never, never believe your pet alligator if it says it’s giving up meat and going vegan.

“What would an angel say, the devil wants to know.”

Never mind.

Stand For Nothing, Fall For Anything

Daily Mail:

"It has been reported that Luz is so smitten by the Material Girl that he has switched to her mysterious Kabbalah faith, despite being a strict Catholic, and has joined an online community for Kabbalah believers.

He has even updated his own website updating friends about the move.

A source told the Daily Mirror: 'Jesus's family are very traditional and quite religious so this news is sure to come as something of a shock.

'But Jesus is totally taken with Madonna and is slightly in awe of her. Quite simply he can't get enough, and finds her utterly compelling and bewitching.

'The pair have spent a lot of time together in recent weeks and Madonna's chatted quite freely about her personal beliefs - especially Kabbalah.'

The source added: 'Madonna has offered to take him to the Kabbalah centre in New York and he is exceedingly keen to take her up on that.'

…She was was apparently so enamoured with the handsome Latino, she asked him to accompany her for the remainder of the South America leg of her Sticky & Sweet Tour."

Don’t worry, A-Roid, this is just publicity and Minge’s sacrifice to save your reputation.

We’ve figured out the two reasons Jesus has his name tattooed on his back:

1) In case he misses his school bus.

2) In case Minge forgets his name while she’s Kabbal-ing him.

On an upbeat note, he’s almost to where he can count his toes.

Also, we have realized the Kabbalah cult embraces lying, cheating, debauchery, greed, hypocrisy, promiscuity, soul-eating, betrayal and bleach blonde hair. And those are Minge’s positive qualities.

It’s near impossible to keep this crap updated.