Saturday, December 6, 2008

French Homeopaths: A Bunch Of Real Jokers

"Every year a homeopathy company kill a duck. Then they remove 35 grams of its liver and 15 grams of its heart.

I don’t know what they do with the rest of the duck but the bits they’ve got they prepare in water which they dilute so many times that there isn’t a trace of duck left.

Despite this it’s not suitable for vegetarians. This is then the homeopathic remedy for flu or as the French call it, ‘la grippe’.

It’s highfalutingly called Oscillococcinum pronounced, oh-sila-cox-see-num. The water of that dissolved golden duck i’m told sells for $20,000,000 a year.

Homeopathy is the science of the minimum dose. The idea is that like cures like.

So if you have insomnia, what causes insomnia? Coffee. So they dissolve a tiny bit of coffee in gallons of water. That’s sold as a cure for insomnia.

Alright you say so it’s just the same as vaccinations. No!? Vaccinations have some content. Homeopathic remedies are diluted so many times they have not an atom of the original product.

Some argue that the water has a memory of the original coffee or duck bits. If that’s the case how’s it forgotten the pipes it’s been through or various people’s bladders.

Believers laugh when you point out that some cultures apply the same ‘like cures like’ theory. For example the idea that the ground down powder of the erect rhino horn cures sexual dysfunction in men. Isn’t that like cures like?

Or the voodoo idea that you can influence a person by sticking pins in a doll likeness.

I’ve an old letter from Crippen the convicted murderer. He was a homeopath and he sold homeopathic plasters to cure deafness.

In the watery world of the homeopath there’s someone with a sense of humour."
-- Wilf Lunn, seeing the "sick" joke - of homeopathic French quacks actually selling watered-down duck - in The Huddersfield Examiner.