Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Missing Links (Between My World And Yours)

There's a story going around, wrongly saying Patrick Swayze is dying of cancer, and it really depresses me. But not for the obvious reasons:

I've known for a long time that Patrick Swayze is a total NewAger - prone to believing all the nonsense that goes with that designation - but I also know he's married to a woman, Lisa, who isn't. So, being a feminized NewAger, I'm pretty sure the reason he's tackling (and beating?) cancer with conventional treatments - the same ones that have been keeping Elizabeth Edwards alive - is because his "strong" wife is insisting on it. It is she who keeps the quacks and wackos away from her "believer" of a husband.

What's depressing me is knowing I'm a "macho" guy, who was married to a NewAge woman, and seeing how the switch in roles plays out.

Instead of being able to keep the idiots away from her, I've been roundly condemned for trying to not have her fed to the lions, which - as we all know by now - I failed at. There were (and still are) just too many people against me who believed her husband (AKA "a man") had no place giving counsel (AKA "controlling") any aspect of his wife's life - because, marriage or no marriage, she was a "free spirit" who had right to be selfish - no matter what that meant to my devoting my life to her.

These people (out of my earshot) were more than happy to subversively undermine my marriage, and - when it was finally crumbling into ruins - say so openly, because I didn't/couldn't/wouldn't go for their bullshit.

And now my ex-wife has broken my heart, destroyed my life, and is with a NewAge quack who created the opening necessary for the two of them to kill three people - the first being my mother-in-law - which also cuts me in half, whether I liked the racist old horse or not.

Ladies and Gentlemen, excuse me but - I'm a talented artist, an atheist, and a rationalist - so my life was NOT supposed to play out this way. I worked too fucking hard. I expected more.

I crawled through the fucking broken glass of backward-ass ghetto life, and cultish racial beliefs, and the Alice In Wonderland politics of liberalism. I served my country and, with decades of study, honed my craft. I tried to marry well. I tried to be a good man. And I've been forced to pay a heavy price for all that effort by NewAgers.

I still am being forced to pay for it as they go about their dirty work.

When I read the reviews of Cadillac Records, I feel like the descriptions of Howling Wolf, Muddy Waters, Chuck Berry, and Etta James are actually talking about me. I swear like them; I share their talent, volatility, and values. And I see the NewAgers I encounter (online and off) as doing their damnedest to knock that creative spark out of me. It won't work (I'm not my silly-assed wife) but they do try.

I've pointed out, countless times, how bad art is becoming under NewAge. Music especially, because it's not a genre that should be playing by any of NewAge's rules.

Music isn't about record sales or videos, but pure emotion - and we all know how important "feelings" are to NewAgers. We're suffering artistically because they're insisting it's their feelings that matter. They're the ones who are forcing art to be about sex. They're the ones who are forcing art to be about celebrity. They're the ones who are forcing art to always be about the lowest common denominator possible. And we're better than that - I know it - and that knowledge won't be beaten out of me like it's been beaten out of others. I'm fucking better than that.

I was raised a foster child, and like all foster children (especially the latest most famous one) the idea seems to be that we've been put here merely to be abused by men and women - society, really - without anyone admitting that abuse is actually happening. But I will not be silent about what I've experienced or what I see happening out there: you people are sick, and I don't have time for your self-reverential pastel-colored "beliefs" about yourselves any longer. You're the cruelest of liars and fools.

So go on: tell someone else about the importance of being "humble" before you - a demand you don't ever make of black women - because, just like the church-going black women who raised me, I ain't got time for your bullshit: you're a bunch of liars and I will stay my own man. I don't need no belief system, no guru, no cult, or support group - like my heroes (and true peers), the first black Rock 'N' Roll artists, I need to be a free man - because that's what now sustains me. That, and my hatred for all you've created and done. Black president or no, you don't fool me.

And with that, I guess I'll end my little rant by saying I think the rest of y'all can go straight to Hell.