Forget The "Intuit" Part (Just Try The Shunning)

"I asked her what the difference was between someone with psychic intuition and a person without it. She used repeat offenders to explain.


'Why do you think they keep going back to jail?' Sofie asked. 'They keep making the same mistakes. No intuition.'


But my reading’s most enjoyable feedback came from category three. Aside from praising my creative and selfless qualities, Sofie said my life was 'only going to get easier from here,' and that I would be a famous writer. Whether this was true wasn’t important; I was going to pay $55 for this reading and if I wanted to get my money’s worth, I would have to believe it. That’s when I realized the genius of a psychic’s career: Curiosity of the unknown draws people in, but paying for a reading makes them latch onto whatever positive insight their reader has to offer. But considering her lack of magical allure, Sofie should scrap the vague predictions and re-title her career 'personal ass-kisser.' "

-- Alyssa Bereznak, peaking at the cards being played from the bottom of the (tarot) deck, which (happily) is exactly what we'd expect from the University of California, San Diego's edition of The Guardian.