The Best Out Of 7 Billion

If you’re a thinking, decent person with rational values, this may hurt your brain. If you’re moron and/or skank, keep your “you go girl” to yourself. Send your kids out of the room, as we’re gonna be blunt.

You can read the full story at Fox News, we’re going to comment on just the highlights.

She’s gone from pageants to "Passions" to porn and it seems Kelli McCarty has finally found her favorite career. The former Miss USA of 1991… has shed her sash sister image by releasing a (very) adult film, "Faithless" with Vivid Entertainment.

"I enjoy acting, and I really like sex, so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions,..."

What?? How many infected loads did she have to swallow to make her brain come up with that rationalization?

“…it’s all about sex and nudity, and I’ve been pretending to have love scenes on 'Passions' for years anyway."

What the fuck? Do you realize how lucky we all are that she didn’t have any scenes where she murdered and ate babies?

[There] are guys that I’ve known for a long time that are a suddenly putting it out there, they think because I have sex on television I must want to do it with them, too. Its really creepy and disturbing, being an adult film star does not automatically put you into the slut category,..."

Yes Kelli, it does make you a slut. Actually, a gutter slut. We think your complaint is really that they expect it for free, ‘cause they’re your friends. Don’t be selfish.

"It’s such an accomplishment,…"I’m happy that I can be out there talking openly about it, I’m so proud that I could make this happen."

What the fucking fuck? Kelli, there are about 7 billion people on the planet. That pretty much makes fucking a non-accomplishment.

And if we ever catch you fucking a stray dog on the front lawn, we’re gonna get the garden hose.

We suggest you spend your life more usefully, like suing your plastic surgeon, moron.