Global Warming's Right Around The Corner

"There is a long and distinguished history of dooming. There has been preaching about the end of time since the beginning of time. The Apocalypse. The Rapture. End Times. Armageddon. Y2K. 2012. The possibilities are endless!

In order to be a doomsday prophet, you can't afford to be discouraged by anything. Especially not evidence.

Just treat every day like a close-out going out of business sale. Yes, this is your business as usual. It's a deadline! It's now or never! Everything marked down! Everything must go! Combat short attention spans with shorter timelines.

Oh sure, there have been some like Jim Jones and Heaven's Gate who have killed themselves and their flock, but you're not about discouragement. True doomsday prophets are tax-free and facts-free zones of stay-tuned-or-you'll-miss-something-ness. Doomsday prophecy is a riveting and exciting career where you learn to dodge and duck accountability with your charisma. You're like a charming, tax-exempt whack-a-mole.

When it comes to belief, hope floats but doom sells. Pastor John Hagee, a supporter of Senator John McCain for President, once told his megachurch, 'You could get raptured out of this building before I get finished preaching.' On the tape, you can hear the crowd cheer. 'Yay!' This is the kind of message that separates the megachurches from the meager churches.

The other character trait necessary is not caring that you're wrong. If being accurate is important to you, program calculators for a living. If being proved to be a fraud fills you with anxiety and make you want cower into a fetal position and hide from public life forever, then doomsday prophesy is not your bag. Either yarn rhetorically or go home."

-- Tina Dupuy, telling us everything we need to know about apocalyptic thinking - which the idiot believers fall for, again and again, because they're idiot believers - and doing it before we're all going to die, from reading The Huffington Post.