Saturday, March 15, 2014

God Will Never Be "With" Me (I Get Mail)


Dear THE CRACK EMCEE,


Sir, Please pardon my presumption in writing to you. My schoolmate, who is your fans, said maybe you could help me. I really need your guidance.

I live in a Christian family in a small town. Recently, something strange has occurred in this silent place. Yesterday in the neighborhood some of my friends tried to convert me into Falun Gong just like them. They told me that their Master Li is the "God of Gods" of the universe with great theurgy, such as thinking control, invisible skill, telekinesis and etc. They also promise me that the master may leave me a ladder up to the Heaven if I agree. I feel very distressed and confused now and I don't know what to do. Shall I follow them? My schoolmate says you know something about it. Please shred some light on this and keep me away from the "carrot" of Devil!

Thanks and God be with you!

Looking forward to your urgent reply.

Best regards,

Sincerely yours,

Tony
I told him to join anything he wants,...