This is rich:
I know the feeling all too well. I know Austin because of SXSW and my former friend, Justine Gilcrease, opening a funky little French restaurant there, Justine's Brasserie.
The last time I was there, she'd hired me as a DJ, but told everyone I was a Republican before I arrived, so I had a gaggle of NewAge Nazi bitches following me around wherever I went, screaming "What about my reproductive rights?" and other nonsense for days on end. Justine acted like that was no big deal. It was a very big deal, and ruined my trip, right from the start. I spent almost my entire visit confused, by Justine, and depressed by everyone else. That was in 2013, so I can only imagine how much worse they've gotten.
At one point Justine forced me to endure over an hour long drive, alone, with a crazy black girl - who Justine knew was insane - just because we both were black and nobody else wanted to ride with her - like I would want to. Is that how "friends" treat visiting guests?
There was also Justine's stupid and dangerous friend, who wanted to use homeopathic medicines on Justine's newborn - which I immediately rejected - only to get into an argument with the stupid bitches over it. Again - Justine defended her (new) friends because they're women and "so smart". That made sure my visit ended with an "ouch" as well. Our friendship's never recovered.
Keep in mind, I've known Justine since she was 16, and dating white supremacist speed dealers who wouldn't allow her to speak to me (She and I only became friends because I didn't care what no white supremacists thought - it's not like SHE was gonna say anything, sitting there in her underwear, with pornos playing constantly on the TV: She was practically a cult member at that point). I have seen Justine spiral through boyfriends, naked countless times - witnessed her having sex on pool tables and elsewhere - I even told her to open the restaurant here, instead of in France, but she didn't listen me until after she had to discover the truth for herself). But, now, I - and some of her other close friends - are chopped liver, since she moved to rooty-tooty Austin, Texas and became somebody with Daddy's money. That place DOES seem to do something weird to people. Plus - even if you're 100% correct - you can NEVER win an argument with a rich bitch once the money and power's gone to their heads. Nor make them care, or apologize, or anything. They're rich. They can brush off all criticisms - and do. That's what "friends" are for.
Her husband, Pierre's, still alright - for a French guy.
But the so-called "douche" in the story, above, is right: the heat in Austin is muggy and stifling (I always wanted another shower 30 minutes after I went outside) and Austin's one of those "Keep ________ weird" places, so everyone (and everything) is always trying to out-radical each other, constantly. I'm from LA and San Francisco - Hell, I'm The Crack Emcee - that shit gets old fast.
As I said, the people were rude - and stupid - judging, and attacking me, on the flimsiest of information. A lot of self-flattery, and cultish feminism going on. Speakeasy's filled with freaks who think they're special for being awake at 4AM (who ain't?)
So I, too, was glad to leave. I can still remember laughing hysterically as I drove away, knowing I'd never return to what can only be described as yet another vision of a NewAge Nazi Hell - courtesy of my "friends" who (I'm 100% positive) voted to elect Joe Biden, after he wrongly locked up niggas for the last 26 years. That's EXACTLY how "woke" they are. Austin's about as politically sophisticated as an armadillo.
Ladybird's flowers are still beautiful, though.
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