Lucky

TMR: We've Got Your Negroes, And Your Nigros, While A Tree Grows In England (& In My Pants)

Right.

Isn't that how the British do "macho"? Before they drop something on you, they say, "Right", and then start talking? I'm just wondering because I found this great quote by Sarah Jessica Snarker (probably not her real name) as she's talking about the actor, Jeremy Irons, AKA the "new sustainability charlatan on the block", who is not only a hypocritically delusional liar but also British.

Here's the quote I love so much:

"Let us all shun our materialistic existences and go live in a cave somewhere while harvesting nuts and berries and clothing ourselves in garments spun from spiderwebs and unicorn fluff,..."

What can I say?

I'm a sucker for two things - good writing and references to "unicorn fluff"! See, when I was younger, I'd go over to girls houses and they'd have those stupid stuffed unicorn dolls on their beds, which would always give me a good, warm and fuzzy feeling - and a real solid hard on - because I knew I was getting laid if she fell for that shit!

It had something to do with unicorn horns equaling "horny", so her pubes became "unicorn fluff", or something. I don't know - I'm riffing here! - but can we really build a sustainable world on teenage girls' pubic hair? I've got to ponder that one. I guess teenage boys would certainly like to try. Hey, it's about as realistic as what the environmentalists are always pushing on us - no matter how stupid they are, they just won't shut up! - but, I guess, I digress,...

My own time with silly unicorn-loving wannabe NewAge sexpots (sexbots?) was a long time ago, and I'm a rational conservative Red, White, and Blue/black American now, so let's forget all about imaginary animals, and this "Right" nonsense (sorry, Brits) and get this party started The American Way, with:

Fuck!

Man, do I feel bad. Right after I go and have a field day dissing Sarah Ferguson - England's "Duchess of Dork" - for being a NewAge idiot who was bound to cause trouble, she goes on The Oprah Winfrey Show (Where else?) and actually says something "enlightened" - in an ass-backwards kind of way - here it is:

"I think I’ve been like a huge, overtrusting, idiotic, stupid woman that went and looked for this situation, and that’s all I can say, really."

Is that brilliant, or what? (And isn't that exactly what I said about her, or what? My NewAge studies have paid off well,...)

Most NewAgers, being complete and utter fools (as well as slaves to public image) would rather die than admit their "never-ending search" led to how dumb they've behaved - sure, we can also ignore the fact that most NewAgers aren't caught on tape - still, I'm willing to give credit where credit is due, and Sarah's open admission that her NewAge outlook led directly to her self-destruction (as far as I'm concerned) is a major step in the right direction.

I'm not kidding.

I respect this statement as Sarah's beginning stab at some honesty, and candor, and I also think - if she uses it as a starting point, in a new direction, for her own personal development - one day, she could even become a winning example for other NewAgers to follow.

Of course, that would require that other NewAgers would also recognize they're a bunch of idiotic assholes, but, unfortunately, there's very little indication that's going to happen anytime soon.

But it could! It really could!

If Sarah-fucking-Ferguson can recognize her own foolishness (instead of, against all the evidence otherwise, relentlessly declaring her own divinity) then all hope ain't lost. The other silly bunnies out there could, for instance, stop checking in with each other and listen to Joseph Nigro, TMR's erstwhile partner in crime (who we haven't heard from in, like, forever) who probably thinks, since Ayn Rand started a pseudo-conservative pseudo-sex cult, that might be as good a place for NewAgers to start plotting their way out as any.

"Birds of a feather", and all that.

Actually, keeping the TMR tradition alive, what Herr Nigro truly suggests for the following quote is "All NewAgers should be required to have this tattooed on their forehead. Then when they sit in their circle of rocks in Sedona, Arizona, everyone they look at will force them to face it". In an honest world, we'd have that shit implemented in a week, but in this one, here goes, straight from the boss man to Sarah Ferguson, and all the other NewAgers, the world over:

"The self you have betrayed is your mind; self-esteem is reliance on one’s power to think. The ego you seek, that essential 'you' which you cannot express or define, is not your emotions or inarticulate dreams, but your intellect, that judge of your supreme tribunal whom you’ve impeached in order to drift at the mercy ...of any stray shyster you describe as your 'feeling.'"

Awww. Isn't that sweet? It's like giving Sarah Ferguson and friends an affectionate peck on the cheek, but directed at what's left of their poor, malnourished, and barely used or functioning minds.

Now show us your tits.

I'm kidding! Really.

This is The Macho Response - and we really, really care!

Just "Being There" Is Enough (Figure It Out)

"Nowadays people wear their stupidity like a badge of honour. Knowing how to play chess will get your head kicked off. Reading a book with no pictures in it will cause there to be no friend requests on your Facebook page. Little Britain is funny because people vomit a lot. Monty Python is not because they delight in all manifestations of the terpsichorean muse.

When you go on a chat show, it is important you tell the audience straight away that you were brought up in a cardboard box and that your dad would thrash you to sleep every night. If you want to get on and to be popular you have to demonstrate that you know nothing. It’s why Stephen Fry makes so many bottom jokes."

-- Jeremy Clarkson, whining that everybody else is stupid - which means, if you include Panda Bear and Joseph Nigro, there are now four of us on the planet with the lights on - which is probably the most accurate and up-to-date reflection of The Times Online.

Nothing That Big Moves This Fast Either

Los Angeles: in motion from Michael Marantz on Vimeo.

This video claims it's featuring Los Angeles, but is really just the places tourists go (Venice, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Downtown) with not one scene of South Central, Inglewood, East L.A., The Valley, Pasadena, Compton, Watts, Torrance, or anywhere else I think of as "home".

Oh well, it still made me a little homesick. I love L.A..

Hat Tip: Little Green Footballs

UPDATE: The great Joseph Nigro (whose contributions to this blog are terribly missed) sent me these two reminders, above and below, of what the "real L.A." experience is like - Man, I got so good at avoiding bullets that, at times, I felt like I was Wonder Woman with those fucking bracelets! - and, yet, I still miss it. Sigh. I'll get back there again, one day. I can hardly wait:

Hydroponic Contingency Face Therapy Operations

Our proposed new name for Water-boarding should satisfy the nut-job left’s fixation with stupid useless euphemisms, while also providing, by the use of the word “Therapy”, an irresistible appeal to NewAgers.

Who Wouldn’t Have Known This?

Infomercial

Kim Jong (Mentally) IL Re-Elected

Kim Jong Il has defied the odds and been re-elected as North Korea’s Leader, despite the fact that he ran no campaign, raised no money, had no debates, placed no ads and had no opponent.

Truly the good fight.

“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”

You know, he could have been humming that at the very second this photo was snapped.

It could happen.

Collisions In The ‘Tunnel Of Love’

A heartbroken husband has claimed in sensational court papers that rock 'n' roll legend Bruce Springsteen has been making beautiful music on the sly with his wife!

In divorce papers filed on March 27 in Monmouth County, N.J. Superior Court and obtained by Star, businessman Arthur Kelly alleges that Ann, his wife of 17 years, “committed adultery with one Bruce Springsteen, who resides in Rumson, N.J., and Colts Neck, N.J., at various times and places too numerous to mention.”

Bruce, 59, has been married to his second wife, backup singer Patti Scialfa, 53 — with whom he has three children — also for 17 years.

A source tells Star, “Ann says she and Bruce are just friends, but there have been rumors going around the area for more than a year that they had gotten way too close after meeting at a local gym.

Neither Ann nor Bruce responded to multiple requests for comment. When contacted, Arthur — who has moved out of the family home in West Long Branch into a nearby condo — told Star: “I don’t want to comment at this time, but I do appreciate your asking me.” His attorney, Edward Fradkin, tells Star, “The papers speak for themselves.”

This isn’t the first time Bruce has been caught up in a cheating scandal. Published reports early in the summer of 1988 alleged that he was romancing his backup singer-turned-wife, Patti, behind the back of his first wife, actress Julianne Phillips.

In 2006, Bruce denied a published report that he’d had an affair with a beautiful 9/11 widow from New Jersey whom he’d met in 2001.

– Star Magazine

When not busy telling us how to vote or how to live, those pesky celebrity whack-jobs sure know how to have fun – at the expense of unwilling others.

[We keep telling 'em: First you divorce, then you fool around. Is that really so hard, folks? Adulterers are the world's stupidest sadists, thinking they're so damn smart and determined to hurt those that love them most. Just a bunch of horny idiots. - CMC]

So Who’s Running This Chicken Outfit Anyway?

It's your call, kid (According to the growing consensual living movement, parents and children have equal say in family life - even at bedtime, Adriana Barton reports at Globe and Mail:)

In the consensual living model, father doesn't know best. Neither does mom. Instead, parents and children are equal partners in family life, according to the principles laid out at consensual-living.com.

Founded in 2006 by a group of families in North Carolina, consensual living is gaining ground in alternative parenting communities and online, including a Yahoo group with about 900 members.

Devotees study books such as Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn and Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication, and they consider parenting based on punishment and reward structures to be "coercive."

In contrast, "consensual" parenting is non-hierarchical.

"When parents put themselves in the role as authorities, they may believe they are doing it 'for the child's good,' " writes one of the movement's co-founders, Anna Brown, "but they could be missing an opportunity to have more connected relationships with their children."

“Alternative Parenting”. Unless it’s a road sign guiding you around a construction zone, the word alternative should be a warning of a strong NewAgey smell dead ahead.

Children don’t need this and don’t want it. No matter how much a child badgers, cajoles and manipulates a parent, it’s all for show and testing.

Want they do need and want is to feel secure that someone is protecting them and taking care of them, and that includes protecting them from themselves. Despite the outward appearance, they crave limits.

While teaching kids decision making skills and responsibility is certainly good, it’s best done in bits and pieces as opportunities arise, not by giving them the job or a permanent premature responsibility. It robs them of their childhood. And if the parents are reasonably responsible, kids will find their vote and input chronically overridden, which will only teach them to feel patronized and to distrust the process.

The worst of this will be the parents who will be relieved to abdicate their role as the authority. These people are indecisive and insecure to begin with, and don’t want to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ or as the source of disappointment to their children. To them, it’s more important to have their kids like them at every moment, to be their kid’s best friend and peer. They had children before they managed to grow up and mature themselves.

These are the same people who believe self esteem can be tacked onto the head of their kids as if it’s a game of pin the tail on the donkey, rather than a result of trial, error, correction and living a thoughtful life.

If these type parents really do toss it up for a vote, they should limit themselves to no more than two kids, otherwise they may find the majority has voted to sell the house and buy a fire truck.

Captain Pike’s Wheelchair Becomes Reality

"NEW YORK — A solution to the world's urban transportation problems could lie in two wheels not four, according to executives for General Motors Corp. and Segway Inc.

The companies announced Tuesday that they are working together to develop a two-wheeled, two-seat electric vehicle designed to be a fast, safe, inexpensive and clean alternative to traditional cars and trucks for cities across the world.

The Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility, or PUMA, project also would involve a vast communications network that would allow vehicles to interact with each other, regulate the flow of traffic and prevent crashes from happening.

'We're excited about doing more with less,' said Jim Norrod, chief executive of Segway, the Bedford, N.H.-based maker of electric scooters. 'Less emissions, less dependability on foreign oil and less space.'

The 300-pound prototype runs on a lithium-ion battery and uses Segway's characteristic two-wheel balancing technology, along with dual electric motors. It's designed to reach speeds of up to 35 miles-per-hour and can run 35 miles on a single charge."

-- Fox News

Worshippers Anxious About Validity of Their Prayers

Worshippers are worried about the validity of their prayers after some 200 mosques were found to point in the wrong direction, the BBC reported Monday.

The issue came to light after people looking down from high-rises in Mecca noticed that niches in many older mosques were not pointing towards the Kaaba — an ancient building in Mecca's Gran Mosque.

Islamic officials reportedly dismissed the concerns, according to the BBC.

"There are no major errors, but corrections have been made for some old mosques, thanks to modern techniques," Tawfik al-Sudairy, Islamic affairs ministry deputy secretary told the newspaper al-Hayat. - Fox News

We can think of a whole lot of more likely reasons for unanswered prayers.

Looking For Liberal Mental Health

The most fun thing about liberals is their overuse of the psychological defense known as projection.

If you want to know what they’re really up to, listen to what they’re accusing you of and voila! It’s actually a confession. Andrew Klavan at Pajamas Media has noted this:

"In an op-ed in last Sunday’s Los Angeles Times, I teasingly challenged liberals to—gasp!—actually listen to Rush Limbaugh with an open mind. The reaction was predictable, but no less hilarious for that. Email after email practically boiling with viciousness, foul language and hate, accused Limbaugh—and me—of being vicious, foul-mouthed and hateful. Don’t these people own mirrors? I mean, don’t they ever look at their reflections and think, 'Wait… Limbaugh does a radio show about public figures and ideas… Klavan writes an op-ed in a newspaper… then I send a personal email full of four-letter words, ad hominem attacks and vitriol… Oh, hey, I get it… the real shmuck here… is me!!!'”

The other side of that coin is the need to project an image of themselves that typically has no resemblance to the reality of who they are or what they do:

"Leftists have always confused their good intentions with actual virtue. The tyranny allowed to spread by left wing appeasement, the neighborhoods and families destroyed by their corrupt welfare programs, the millions of lives snuffed out by environmentalist hysteria—these don’t show up on their moral scorecards because they meant so very well.

Indeed, so swathed are they in the warm glow of their purposes, any question about the actual results of their actions strikes them as shockingly cruel. A mere rough joke, an outrageous remark, the least untoward language from a conservative—and they reel back, appalled by the display of pure meanness.

What can you do? A conservative must either walk on eggshells or tell the truth loud and proud. You choose."

The results don’t show up on liberal scorecards because scorecards are not allowed.

The entire project began and ended with the announced intentions. They literally detach from the actual doing, as they fish for the compliments of mission accomplished up front.

And if it goes wrong, it’s back to projecting (more like smearing) their own unacceptable (to them) negative performance onto others, deflecting all responsibility.

Victimizers spin themselves into victims. How dare we notice.

(About) "300" (Or So)

[Click to enlarge.]

My New Bunny Rabbit