Steve Martin Did A Bad Thing - Needed An Edumacation

Poor Steve Martin - the internet is becoming, like, The Hills Have Eyes or some shit for racism:

Then came dismay at the unwarranted betrayal - did Steve Martin ever have a Ghetto Pass? He plays the banjo, so I don't know. The banjo can make racism sound happy, like Martin famously said it could, for Nixon.

Big laugh.

 

Is it bash black folks day on twitter? RT @trice10552: Steve Martin coming for us too? For why?

O.K., Stevie, you're white, you're rich - you've used race, blacks and Indians (almost exclusively) for comedy before - what do you say? It's the Buddha calling, baby - Big Time. You know the New Age rules - you and Tina Fey made a movie about them:

BE HUMBLE!

Sorry about that. RT @illmami: I'm not totally offended but I don't want to be the one saying it. It was witty. But nawl. Not today.

Ooooh - EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 

Not. Humble. Enough. Steve. 

Too "sophisticated" for any American but the cocksucking French art lovers you're known to hang with now - try again:

I did apologize. But again, a second later I realized what an offensive thing I'd done. Deep bow.

Better - 12 Years of Cool - but know something: 

 You've been walking a very-thin cultural line, for a long time now, Mr. Mark Twain Award winner and - like blogging professors - we expect better of you. 

And we're very disappointed when you fail us. Believe it or not - we're counting on you. 

And it's important that we do.

Yeah, I learned that.

Good - so go hold up your end and keep helping with the others who can't:

And stay afloat, Holmes - we love you,...

Alternative Medicine (Some Things Never Change,...)

Whenever You Hear NewAgers Declare "It's All Connected" - They Do Mean It Is All Connected!

Awww, look:

Fidel Castro has a logo for his new Wikipedia clone that,...looks,...suspiciously like Obama's!

Which is great because, much like cultism, we love to see traditions kept alive:

Atheists Have Rock 'N' Roll (Damn Skippy)

Here's the great Steve Martin & Co., reminding us "Numerologists can count to seven,..."

So true.

One Of The Coolest Things About Being Divorced Is Finally Being Able To Follow This Advice

It's All Made Up - Like A Bed - To Look "Good"

A brilliant, Crystal-worthy skit by Tina Fey and Steve Martin for the Best Original Screenplay gong, in which they riff about how every blank page starts with a dead tree, which, in turn, starts with a seed.

Martin: "And every tiny seed on earth was place here by the alien king Rondalay, to foster our titrates, and fuel our postive transfers."

Fey: "Ah, Steve, no-one wants to hear about our religion. That we made up."

A dig at Scientology in the Academy Awards? Brilliant.

Dustin Lance Black wins for Milk.

-- The Times Online

O.K., let's see if we can get all this "brilliance" in at once:

Steve Martin played Tina Fey's ruthless NewAge boss in "Baby Mama" (pictured above). They tell a joke about "the world's most dangerous cult" at The Academy Awards - which they did while announcing the "Best Screenplay" award for Milk - a screenplay that painted a politician as some kind of "gay saint" by studiously leaving out any mention of his long-and-ugly associations with Jim Jones and The People's Temple cult that killed 900 (mostly black) people from the San Francisco Bay Area - and, by the way, blacks are one of the groups gays are now mad at because they didn't vote for Prop. 8.

Yes, brilliance - another NewAge mind fuck of epic proportions - but, still, brilliant.

Considering all this, we sincerely don't know how NewAgers sleep at night, with so much blood on their hands.

Actually, we do, and it's not well.