Tim Minchin: If You Open Your Mind Too Much...

See, this is one of those things that hurts now that I'm divorced, and (probably) always will:

Unexpectedly, for the rest of my life, some person with an average intelligence will reference the stupidity of NewAgers, and I will forever be shocked into remembering I was married to one.

I'll also be reminded I was prevented from doing what I could to help make that person, Karine Anne Brunck, unstupid. And I'll be reminded she, and many members of her friends and family, decided to hurt me for saying that. They didn't care about her. All that mattered, no matter what it took, was being happy they got me.

Every one of them - just like the followers of Oprah, and the media that currently supports her/their lies - they're deceiving each other on every important issue a person could possibly be deceived. All of it, the fabrications of a matrix of NewAge charlatans, whack jobs, and criminals, that I'm now condemned to watching passively - for the rest of my life - as though the lunatics having taken over the asylum is the most normal thing in the world. It isn't. It's not even funny.

Why must I watch? Because if I don't, it's been quite adequately proven to me, that even more people (who, like my ex-wife, will claim to love me, along with the rest of the whole wide world,...and all that) will be more than happy to viciously lash out in defense of their beliefs - this "magical thinking" they won't tolerate being examined too closely. They will betray us all for it - in any way possible. And they'll do it again, and again, and again. While looking us right in the eye.

So, under threat, I pretend I see believers as they see themselves - "nice" people - though I know I'm surrounded by cruel, despicable, "evil" Shakespearian characters; spiritual fascists who will lie, cheat, and steal, to maintain this charade of "gods", "powers", and "healing" (according to all-important "ancient teachings") for as long as possible. Until the day I die. And I can't "move on". I don't think it's human nature to even try and do so. I know, many of you will disagree.

But, after 20 years of marriage, it was my wife who slept with the homeopath that killed her mother, as I sat by the phone, waiting to tell her I loved her for what had to be the millionth time. My wife called me, right before she did it, just to hear me say those words.

And knowing that alone has sapped much of the life out of my life. It's certainly sapped the fun out of this performance - especially it's trick ending - something I would've found funny back in the day but now, being the kind of artist I am - someone who feels what he hears - it comes across as a kind of criminal act. It physically hurts.

The real crime, clearly, is what close-up, long term, and repeated exposure to "woo" has done to my mind. I can't forget about it. I'll never be able to just live my life again, ignoring it's influence. Now, I see it everywhere, where before I hardly knew it existed. This malicious Red Queen Alice In Wonderland nonsense. It's just too big. NewAge will never leave me be. There's just too many idiots; smart enough to insist it's true; not enough to get why insistence is necessary. Too many idiots; more-than-willing to let me know I'm wrong - for noticing anything askew in the first place. This "Baby Boom": The world's first cultural revolution built on gullible types reproducing really fast..

The emperor has no clothes. And make no mistake, I, for one, get no joy from saying it. I know the pain of that observation goes too deep for far, far, too many to be laughed at. But he's naked damn it, and he's run off with my wife. The person I vowed my life to. And yea, Mr. & Mrs. Cynical, I know I'm the genius that chose to marry the dumbshit. That must be dealt with as well. Especially as long as I'm reminded of it whenever I see my reflection:

The non-believer who ends up in Hell.