Thursday, August 19, 2010

Feeling Blue? Know You're Really Yella? You're Probably Green (And Making Everybody Know It)

When it comes to accommodating an environmentalist's green nightmares, we thought Prince Charles was full of it for telling people what to do - but he ain't got nothin' on Sheryl Crow! Check out the "environmental portion" of her show's rider - which is to be "strictly followed and policed" - from The Smoking Gun:

"Seeking to "minimize the overall environmental impact of our tour," Crow demands that only biodegradable cups and dinnerware be used by the caterer. Produce should be "organic and purchased from local suppliers as much as possible." And for the five backstage "watering stations," water "must be sourced from a local spring water vendor."

According to Crow’s rider, her tour party travels between gigs in two 45-foot buses, while her equipment is packed into two tractor-trailers.

Crow, 48, also offers promoters "venue greening suggestions.” She wants “traditional light bulbs” swapped out for compact fluorescent bulbs in “all offices, dressing rooms and common areas.” “Eco-friendly cleaning and bathroom products” and “post-consumer recycled toilet paper and paper towel” should also be used. Crow’s rider also notes that, “We strongly encourage you to use renewable sources and/or to buy sustainable energy credits where possible. Many local utilities offer ‘green power’ as an option--please check with yours and opt in.”

The document also details how Crow’s backstage hospitality room is to be stocked. The singer needs an assortment of “biodegradable non-petroleum cups” and 24 “disposable napkins made of 100% recycled fiber.” Crow’s rider also lists a wide variety of drinks and snacks that she needs, including organic coconut water and two bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon (“Sheryl’s Favorite” is Stag’s Leap Artemis). Two “good quality, dark, organic chocolate bars” are described as “***VERY IMPORTANT***”

[Our copy of Crow’s 2010 rider has a number of items crossed out. It is unclear whether this indicates that the individual items had been obtained, or whether the promoter declined to supply them.]

As in a prior Crow rider, the current version includes her specific liquor schedule. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, she needs a small bottle of Ketel One vodka that will be mixed with a half-gallon of organic cranberry juice. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday, Crow requires a bottle of Patron tequila that will be mixed with a half-gallon of organic grapefruit juice."
Wow - all that and her music really sucks! I mean, if I was a booking agent, I can think of a million less-demanding bands that I'd rather see have an opportunity to perform than this dork.

Tell me, is there some hidden correlation between how mediocre an artist is (and this is definitely the NewAge of Mediocre Music) how passionately they feel about some form of nonsense or another, and how high others are willing to jump for them? There has to be, because doing anything for Miss One-Square-Of-Toilet-Paper-For-Everybody-Else makes no sense at all.

Except, of course, making sure how many squares of toilet paper she uses is "strictly followed and policed".

I betcha she'd really like that,...

2 comments:

  1. Let's try this again--Blogger sent the last one into Cyberspace with no return ticket.
    I was trying to say that while I too believe in doing things that lessen my impact on the environment, making these sorts of demands on the venues where she's playing just makes her look like an annoying diva and a jerk. Making suggestions is one thing, making acerbic demands is another.
    However, I too could use a couple of good quality chocolate bars and some Ketel One in organic cranberry juice to improve my day. Thing is, I'd say please when asking rather than demand that this be done.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Earth First!

    We'll pave the other planets later.

    ReplyDelete

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