A Tip For Blacks When Reading History: Eat Lunch First So You're Ready For A Racist Non-Essential Gut Punch

“We’ll have fifty niggers in the Chamber of Deputies.”

Wake Up, Folks: Losing Is Supposed To Feel Bad

Oh Man, when Saturday Night Live announced Winning! is taking on a whole new meaning, they weren't kidding:

After years of claiming presidential immunity to avoid legal proceedings, Jacques Chirac is finally facing a court.

The former president, a bugaboo for George W. Bush during his rush to war in Iraq, on Monday becomes France's first former head of state to go on trial since its Nazi-era leader was exiled.

That is, if the whole case isn't derailed by a last-minute protest by another defendant.

If the trial goes ahead as planned, Chirac, 78, faces a month in court on charges that he masterminded a scheme to have Paris City Hall pay for work that benefited his political party when he was mayor — before he became president in 1995.

A prison term is seen as highly unlikely, but in principle if convicted, Chirac could be jailed for up to 10 years and fined euro150,000 ($210,000).

France's restive political circles are gearing up for next year's presidential race, but the fallout from this trial is unlikely to hit anyone other than Chirac and the nine other defendants including a grandson of Gen. Charles de Gaulle and a former left-wing labor union leader.

Still, the trial looms as an embarrassing coda to Chirac's 12-year presidential term, potentially denting his legacy, recent philanthropic work and image as one of France's most popular personalities since he left office.

So, let's see, what do we have here:

The supposed ally, who said "We do not agree" during the Iraq War, tormenting the United States and President Bush (who is going through an amazingly positive reassessment) is facing trial for being a cheat and a liar? And wasn't it France's position during the war that fueled the Left's opposition here?

Hmmm. Winning!

Also, the grandson of Charles de Gaulle, who lied to paint the French as heroic during WWII - the lie that gives that country the balls to criticize us no matter how many times we come to their aid - he could be in trouble as well?

Duh - Winning!

And, finally, there's a former "left-wing labor union leader" in trouble, too?

Winning! Winning! Winning! Winning! Winning!

We don't know what you're thinking, but you losers out there better get with the program, because this Winning! thing is sweeping the world,...

The French May Have Fries, But The French Don't Fly (You Must Not Believe French Lies)

We've been telling you that France doesn't know shit about America.

But even worse is the fact Americans don't really know shit about France, either.

How this happens in the era of modern communications, we don't know, but it's a fact.

We've lived in France - not just visited - so our perspective is probably the most accurate you're going to find on the subject; plus it's from an American perspective (we're not trying to suck up to them, like so many others who have visited) so when we tell you something, you count on it being the truth.

For instance, we told you (in the post Eating In France: Dying Inside) that two phrases you'll hear a lot there are "We do not agree!" and "This is not done!"

Both are utilized to stop you from doing things - which even the youth of France despise.

Another phrase that's popular is "We do not have" because - being a socialist/communist country - they run low of supplies on everything - or out of them altogether - often. Food, electricity, you name it.

That's something difficult for Americans to comprehend - or deal with. It drove us crazy.

We're bringing this up because of a story about the Charles de Gaulle airport having to cut flights by 35% because they ran out of anti-freeze. Then they had to evacuate the damn thing because they thought the snow might collapse it's roof.

Now some of you may say, "So what? The potential for a roof collapse could occur anywhere" - and you'd be right - but not in "the crown jewel" of a Western country.

The Charles de Gaulle airport is like the best they've got, folks.

Remember that the next time some liberal globe-hopping American celebrity gives us that if-you-don't-vote-our-way-we're-moving-to-France bullshit. It's an empty threat.

They know you don't know shit about France, but they know what's up:

And their punk asses ain't going anywhere.

Negativland

Of course, it's the NewAge, so Devo's back - wearing their "energy dome" helmets.

They're gonna need 'em.

Come on, weirdos - don't despair - even L. Ron Hubbard had a Jazz band!

And have I mentioned that Scientology is moving into India - at the same time the Indians are making a crazy pro-Hitler movie? What a coinkidink!

Don't give up hope, believers:

If you don't kill your kids first, NewAge may win out yet!

News has it that Camilla Parker Bowles must be whipping the sexy on Prince Charles something fierce, because he's back to confidently spitting the wicked wang-dang doodle like there's no tomorrow.

And, if we leave it up to him, there won't be a tomorrow.

Prince Charles exit question:

Is it even possible for Camilla Parker Bowles to whip the sexy on anybody?

Speaking of pretenders to the throne of desirability, Kabbalah star Madonna got played.

But, then, she deserved it.

Which leads us to a morality tale:

Long after Charles de Gaulle taught the French to always lie about themselves being heroic, the latest celebrated French hero decides not to lie:

"I acted like a complete idiot."

And in case any of you other idiots don't get the memo on stupid:

Recycling is a ritual designed to punish you for living.

And you can take this much on faith, just like everything else:

God is not One - which was proven when Kelly Osborne stared screaming "My God loves gays!"

Listen, I honestly don't know why I'm doing this, or if anything I've written about God or spirituality is true or not, all I can tell you for sure is believing in things has certainly not been kind to us blacks,...

Not Winners & Lovers But Whiners & Losers

"During the Second World War, France collapsed after just six weeks of fighting and surrendered to Nazi Germany. At the bitter moment of defeat the head of the French teachers’ union was told, 'You are partially responsible for the defeat.'

Charles de Gaulle, Francois Mauriac, and other Frenchmen blamed a lack of national will or general moral decay, for the sudden and humiliating collapse of France in 1940.

At the outset of the invasion, both German and French generals assessed French military forces as more likely to gain victory, and virtually no one expected France to collapse like a house of cards — except Adolf Hitler, who had studied French society instead of French military forces.

Did patriotism matter? It mattered more than superior French tanks and planes.

Most Americans today are unaware of how much our schools have followed in the footsteps of the French schools of the 1920s and 1930s, or how much our intellectuals have become citizens of the world instead of American patriots.

Our media are busy verbally transforming American combat troops from heroes into victims, just as the French intelligentsia did — with the added twist of calling this 'supporting the troops.'

Will that matter? Time will tell."

-- Thomas Sowell, on the (possible) cost of the constant demoralization NewAge liberals heap on America, American values, and American soldiers, for the National Review.

Raging About France Again

"They care about nothing because they believe in nothing."

-- "Kevin," commenting on the destruction of the beech trees of Saint Pierre de Varengeville-Duclair forest - which were inscribed with the mementos of American soldiers who fought in France - on the Times Online site.

I don't know why, but this reminds me of when Charles de Gaulle demanded all American soldiers leave France, and LBJ was moved to ask, "Even the dead ones?"

Bastards.

Let an American be as proud of our country as this superficial bitch is of hers (when we've accomplished so much and they've failed so often) and all you get is an argument - even with your fellow citizens - about some imagined fucking "empire" when we've claimed nothing from anyone. Look at her:

Our guys died, suffered wounds and nightmares, for that?

The thought disgusts me. No - they fought to defeat Hitler. She is as big of an afterthought as she appears.

And these fucking "Americans" today are as pathetic, and superficial, as the French are. I heard Susan Sarandon say she's moving to Yurp if John McCain is elected president. Well, having lived in France - and left hating it - I've got a message for her and Yurp:

Kiss my black ass.