Call Me (Whenever You Get It Figured Out)

It's weird how NewAgers are always saying, if I would just do as they tell me, I would be able to get rid of my ego and be a nicer person (like I'd want that) but those same NewAgers don't blink an eye when the daytime TV Queen of NewAge, Oprah Winfrey, reportedly has a problem controlling her "ego and hubris".

The great holy men of India are supposed to have conquered this problem as well, but there's just one little problem:

"'They are very egoistic,' said Anand Bardhan, the administrator overseeing the Kumbh. 'One moment they suddenly become angry and the next moment they will shower lots of affection. You need to understand their nature.'"

Oh, I understand their nature, alright. It's called hypocrisy. As Shinie Antony says about Indian Essentials, the new collection of essays on Indianness, or the Eastern way of seeing things:

"Three potentially addictive pieces are Samrat’s Hum Log, the Sex Log, Srividya Natarajan’s Gold’s Fools and Jerry Pinto’s Talking Bollywood. The first delves deep and dirty into our moral hypocrisies, the second lays bare the gilt in our bling and the third, of course, talks drolly of Sharmila Tagore and Rajesh Khanna. These take the content and form debate firmly into the latter’s lair. When the substance is new age and subversive patriotism, style has to play imp."

It most certainly does. Face it: most NewAgers have to make up their own belief system because - being to cowardly to ditch the whole "spirituality" charade - that's the only way they can have a religion that'll accommodate their bullshit:

"It is telling that Kitty Kelley's new biography of Oprah Winfrey accuses the star of making up childhood sex-abuse stories to enhance her career -- something that would have been unimaginable in any other culture but our own and in any other age but this one."

And what age, exactly, is that again?

Cup O' Tea: "These Are My People - Americans"

I went to a Tea Party on Thursday and everyone was shocked I wasn't swarmed by the media for merely showing up. If I had been, my answer would've been exactly the same: I feel fine because I'm amongst my fellow Americans in my own country standing up for American principals - where's the confusion? Or a reason to feel uncomfortable? Except from liberals trying to inject racism where it doesn't exist.

I saw no racism - not even the constant "he/she's a racist" BS I see online. All I saw were a bunch of folks talking about freedom and liberty and happy to see others drawn to that message. How anyone can feel uncomfortable in that environment is beyond me.

But, then, most things pertaining to politics, today, are.

Ricky Ray Rector's Killer Has Advice For Us

Man, it sure would be nice to hear from an honest person for a change:

"The words we use really do matter, because there's this vast echo chamber, and they go across space and they fall on the serious and the delirious alike. They fall on the connected and the unhinged alike.

One of the things that the conservatives have always brought to the table in America is a reminder that no law can replace personal responsibility. And the more power you have and the more influence you have, the more responsibility you have.

I'm glad they're fighting over health care and everything else. Let them have at it. But I think that all you have to do is read the paper every day to see how many people there are who are deeply, deeply troubled.

By all means keep fighting, by all means, keep arguing. But remember, words have consequences as much as actions do, and what we advocate, commensurate with our position and responsibility, we have to take responsibility for."

-- Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton

This liar will tell us anything and everything, but, after all his years of gum-slapping, he's still never bothered to clear up what the meaning of the word "is" is,...



Click on this post's title if you don't know who Ricky Ray Rector was, or the circumstances surrounding his death.

Simon Singh Cracks Chiropractic's Spine

So it can happen. It did happen: one ordinary man, armed with evidence, won against the purveyors of solipsism.

"The British Chiropractic Association has dropped its defamation case against science writer Simon Singh, days after he won a legal battle for the right to criticise what he regarded as ‘bogus’ science."

It's over and he won. Against some of the most ass-backwards libel laws outside of Islam's discovery of cartooning. Against the entire British Chiropractic Association. Against various belief systems. Against NewAge:

"Having backed down and dropped the case, I expect the British Chiropractic Association to pay my legal bill of 200,000 pounds. I fully expect the BCA to argue that they should not pay all my costs, but I think it is the very least that they should do because this entire legal battle has been instigated by the BCA. I will never get back the two years that I have wasted on this case when I should have been writing a new book and I will never get back all the time I should have had with friends and family, which instead was replaced with continual stress, anxiety and ridiculously tedious legal documents. Fortunately the case has ended when my son Hari is only three weeks old, so I can now relax and enjoy being a father. My wife is a journalist and she been fully supportive throughout, and without her backing and the support of family, friends, scientists, bloggers and many others I suspect I would not have had the morale to keep fighting this case until the end."

A true inspiration.

He makes the rest of you look like pussies.

Oprah Winfrey (And The Beliefs Of Harpo Marks)

A former employee of Oprah's mentioned the words Harpo and cult to Kitty Kelly in the same sentence - nope, it wasn't me saying it this time:

"I thought I would be working for the warm and fuzzy person I saw on television. But, God, I was conned. It's a cult at Harpo. So oppressive it's frightening."

Dig that shit, y'all: this is someone describing an environment of "peace and love" created by a NewAger. When you bother to look behind the curtain, this is always the environment created by a NewAger.

Did you hear that Barbara Walters ain't promoting the book? Gee, I wonder why not?

Someone else, I'm sure, will come along and say that anonymous employee was probably "disgruntled", but even a hatred of OW still doesn't explain why anyone would specifically drop the c-bomb on her company.

Only when you factor in NewAge does the comment make sense. Harpo's promotion of insulting, harmful, and money-wasting nonsense, like The Secret. Harpo's endorsement of James Arthur Ray, who, to the point of death, compelled people to act against their own best interests. Harpo's backing for every quack and quack remedy under the sun. Harpo and Eckhart Tolle, amongst others. Harpo and Barack Obama.

The place is bound to be bizarre, because either (A) they know they're openly lying to the American people, or (B) Harpo believes in so much kooky cult shit it wouldn't be surprising if it's discovered to be a Scientology recruitment mechanism.

And Oprah is a NewAger who is despised, apparently, by almost her entire frigging family. Come on, people: if I became rich and famous, I'm sure you could find shit I wrote on the internet, or even family and friends, to attempt a smear campaign against me. But, I guarantee you, the posse won't include any of my foster parents. Big bad Oprah's own Step-Father calls her a liar:

"She may be admired by the world, but I know the truth. So does God and so does Oprah. Two of us remain ashamed."

Now, who you going to trust when it comes to the subject of Oprah's honesty:

Her father, or your media-controlled image of what you think you know?

(You-Know-Who Is) Another Real Charmer

I don't want to tell you what this picture makes me think of, but Hoe-lee Fuck: it's Homeopathy Awareness Week - and fucking nobody told me!

Now, how the fuck do the world's homeopaths expect to get the word out, without me? Watch this. I'll show you some real motherfucking showbiz razzamatazz. Ladies and Gentlemen - Homeopathy:

Tah-dah. That, my friend, is motherfucking Homeopathy. It's a cult - built around that fucking glass of water. That glass of water is their "medicine". Yea, really. Yea, fuck you, too. You're just saying that fuck because you don't believe. Yea, well. Fuck.

Moving right along,...

People have said I'm too liberal with the word "cult". That I'll just throw it out there on anyone or anything I don't like; that it has no borders, the way I use it.

To which I say, fuck off. Who asked your motherfucking ass?

Look, motherfucker, regarding NewAge's creep, as far as I'm concerned, at this point, either you know what's up or you don't, and, if you don't, then your ass is fucked.

I ain't nobody's motherfucking teacher and I ain't fucking around trying to "save the planet".

At this point, I could give a fuck. (But let's hear it for the green team anyway - yah!)

Anyway, they fucked with me first and, damn it, I plan on ending it. It's a way to pass the time. Today's contribution is this little scenario:

Yes, indeed, that's the NewAge we know and love.

And that y'all have made so motherfucking rich and so motherfucking powerful.

Fuck all y'all.

Wash Dishes. Clean The Bathtub. Re-Assemble Cosmic Relationship Of Everything To Itself Again

Dear Ann,

What's an honest man to do when "you can't handle the truth" is the only honest expression of the truth? Listen to Peggy Noonan of The Wall Street Journal giving it to you straight:

"Let's be real. This is what happened the past 10 years. You, for political reasons, both Republicans and Democrats, finagled the mortgage system so that people who make, like, zero dollars a year were given mortgages for $600,000 houses. You got to run around and crow about how under your watch everyone became a homeowner. You shook down the taxpayer and hoped for the best.

Democrats did it because they thought it would make everyone Democrats: 'Look what I give you!' Republicans did it because they thought it would make everyone Republicans: 'I'm a homeowner, I've got a stake, don't raise my property taxes, get off my lawn!' And Wall Street? We went to town, baby. We bundled the mortgages and sold them to fools, or we held them, called them assets, and made believe everyone would pay their mortgage. As if we cared. We invented financial instruments so complicated no one, even the people who sold them, understood what they were.

You're finaglers and we're finaglers. I play for dollars, you play for votes. In our own ways we're all thieves. We would be called desperadoes if we weren't so boring, so utterly banal in our soft-jawed, full-jowled selfishness. If there were any justice, we'd be forced to duel, with the peasants of America holding our cloaks. Only we'd both make sure we missed, wouldn't we?"

In other words, it's now an open secret America's a nation of suckers.

That's the BIG TRUTH, Obama-voter.

And are we ever going to get to the bottom of it, in order to get out of it?

Nope, not a chance.

Because you can't handle the truth.

See, I'm more of the macho type that'll buffalo my way through, saying we launch a special investigation into the possibility of that celebrities-being-"forced to duel"-idea being implemented, right now, what do you say?

Sure, it's got a few kinks that need to be ironed out (cable rights and that kind of thing) but it still sounds like just the kind of family-oriented American Idol-type entertainment that could also have a lot of serious political potential these days.

I'm sure you can see that:

To The People Over Here
To The People Over There
To The People, The People,
The People, People, The People, The People,
People From Everywhere Watching The Show
Paying Top Dollars Because They Know
When We're On The Stage, We're In A Mothafuckin' Rage
So Dre [What up?] Why Don't You Get The 12 Guage [Yeah]

Chuck Woolery enters, stage right.

See, I'll pay for that. Hell, after you asking about the effect of NewAge conspiracies, I think we just have:

"Oprah, or Oprahism, has often been called a secular religion, and [Kitty] Kelley’s most plausible insight is that Oprah has, from the beginning of her career, been propelled by a nearly messianic belief in herself. 'She did not believe that bad things could happen to good people,' Kelley writes. Her faith in her instincts is immovable, although not immutable. Oprah was close to the Clintons; when she was to receive a lifetime-achievement award at the International Emmys, she asked Hillary to present it, and, from the lectern, said she hoped that Hillary would 'do us a privilege' by running for President. Then Oprah watched Barack Obama deliver the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, and her vision changed. In 2005, she approached Obama, standing under a tree at a gospel brunch that she was holding at the Promised Land, her estate in Montecito, California, and asked, 'If someone were to announce one of these days that he was going to run for President, don’t you think this would be a sweet place to hold a fund-raiser?' It was as though she could create a black President through sheer force of will, and maybe she did."

Damn it, don't look at me like that, I told you "you can't handle the truth". That was an accident. It just slipped out.

It's becoming pretty obvious I totally understand it all now.

Except for the question of what's an honest man to do?

I'll let you know when I "discover" it.

OOs and XXs,

The King High: Your God (Lord Of All You Survey) If You So Believe It