Here's Looking At You, Kid (Now Take My Eyes, So I Can See Just How Your Mind Doesn't Work)

"I saved her life and then to be betrayed like this is unfathomable. It's incomprehensible,...She engaged in an extramarital affair and refused to go to marital counseling and reconciliation,...She slapped me with divorce papers in the operating room while I was trying to save another patient's life."

-- Dr. Richard Batista, a doctor whose wife ran off with her physical therapist - after he gave her his kidney - and who is now suing the mother of his three kids for the $1.5 million that he claims the organ is worth, in The New York Post.

"I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else. ... I didn't mean this to happen."

-- Rajini Narayan, the "jealous" Australian wife who set her husband's genitals on fire - which killed him and burned down their house - because she saw him hug another woman, according to MSNBC.