You Too Can Adapt To Screwing Yourself

'My Tongue Stud Scares Off Men'

Unlucky-in-love actress DREW BARRYMORE is blaming her new tongue piercing for her lack of man action.

The film beauty underwent the painful decorative procedure after splitting from her ex-boyfriend, comedy actor JUSTIN LONG, last summer.

And although Drew’s delighted with her bejewelled mouth organ, she fears potential suitors are turned off by it.

She revealed on ELLEN DEGENERES’ chatshow: “I have had it for nine months, I got it and I have been single ever since. I don’t know what the deal is with that.

“I luckily did it for myself. I had always wanted to get one.”

The Charlie’s Angels star admitted she couldn’t eat or drink for weeks after the piercing.

She added: “After it was done I was like, ‘Oh my God why wouldn’t people do this? It doesn’t hurt at all,’ and the guy said, ‘What I didn’t tell you is that for the next two weeks it is going to be a little uncomfortable.’

“Two hours later I couldn’t eat or drink for two weeks, it was a great diet in a weird way, a sick and sadistic diet and after that it was fine.”

-- The Sun

Our advice to Drew:

If you want to round out the effect, staple some cat shit to your forehead.