Monday, May 17, 2010

News You Can Use (Starting With The Jews)


This is NOT NewAge shit here - it's a renegade Jew:



"Humanity lived in darkness—until He came. In the beginning only a few rallied to his cause. It was too enigmatic to arouse much popular support, and political opposition forced its champions underground. But a coterie of apostles resolved to spread a simplified version of his good news against stiff-necked enemies who often made martyrs of them. Then something remarkable happened. Thanks to a collection of gospels about his morality, the zealous devotion of followers and, of course, the obvious truth of his good news, his call for emancipation spread far beyond his native land and eventually set the world on fire.

This is how Jonathan Israel describes the message, and preaches the story, of a renegade Jew—the philosopher Benedict Spinoza. The creed Spinoza defended was the Enlightenment, with its devotion to reason, not faith, and its vision of secular liberation leading to the establishment of a society based on the collective good rather than the authority of kings and the tradition of priests. Yes, it's true that several centuries on, the Enlightenment has not yet succeeded in either breaking the shackles of outworn creeds or lifting the yoke of scandalous oppression across the globe. But this is no reason to surrender. More preaching of the gospel of Enlightenment is all that's required."
Alright, since everybody wants to do stupid shit, no matter what I say, I done got the message that y'all also must not want me to be the last holdout, so fuck it - let's get racial:


I do not play well with others.


White people pretend they your friend, or else they pretending the shit don't matter, which - if either one of those was true - they wouldn't be pretending. Then you got those fools for whom the shit really don't matter, but they going to go out they way to show you it don't - they think they mastered some kind of skill - so they hit you with some Master of the Universe shit, just expecting you to follow them around like a slave. It's bullshit.


Take it from me:


There's way more to this shit than just trying to make friends. White people are a god damn obstacle course.


Richard Pryor said white girls suck your dick real fast.


Brothers was listening.


Speaking of listening:




Tea Partiers, "Man's Best Friend" is Ice Cube's Second Amendment anthem from 1991; all the PC types attacked Death Certificate - a deeply conservative concept album (as all of Ice Cube's early solo albums were) DC was the last of the great ones - and it was declared a racist travesty that overshot the bounds of decency. Real Heads call it a Masterpiece, both for the carefully constructed, sample-based music and Ice Cube's attention to detail lyrically.

My God Mother was Ice Cube's art teacher, and she just told me she still has 40 original Michael Jackson albums from the '70's, that she's holding for me, all still in the plastic. Pretty cool, huh? This is cool, too - "Man's Best Friend" - Ladies and Gentlemen, Ice Cube:


Here's another topic I'm addressin
so learn a quick lesson, about your Smith and Wesson
Sit your ass back and comprehend
as I let you know about man's best friend
Now remember: it used to be a dog like Lassie
but now in ninety-one it's a gun if you asked me
Just like a jimmy hat's used for protection
I use my nine when suckers start to flexin
Cause if you run up and try to play mine
I'd rather have a AK than a fuckin canine
Cause if you shot your gun, and my dog tried to fetch her
me and the dog's goin out on a stretcher
And I ain't with that, so I gotta get that
big black gat, aim and I hit that
Forget about a dog fool, he'll shit in the den
Nowadays.. a gat is man's best friend

Here is the reason why Ice Cube pack
Just in case the little punks try to jack
I can't put a motherfuckin pitbull
under a coat, in the small of my back
So I gotta take my beretta, and I betcha
it'll probably work, a 100 percent better
Cause it'll keep me out of danger
with sixteen in the clip and one in the chamber
So this goes to all y'all intruders
Beware of the owner, cause the owner is a shooter
I don't just wanna give your ass rabies
I'd rather have your ass pushing up daisies
And I can't do that with Benji,
Rin Tin Tin, or Spuds McKenzie
Forget about a dog fool, he'll shit in the den
Nowadays, a gat is man's best friend

Just don't let me see you shoot no dogs!

Yes, being white is something you can learn, but it's better to be normal.


All white people should go to Stuff White People Like, find any part that pertains to them, and then stop that shit:

I know there's a human being in there somewhere.


White people trying to show they ain't racist is annoying.



O.K., this ain't racial, but FYI:


The Discovery Channel's Stupidity, Bill Maher's Religulous, and The Onion Movie are all available through Google Video.


You're welcome.


My band, Little White Radio, wasn't named Little White Radio because all but one of the members was black. It was named Little White Radio because that's what I glanced at when I was trying to come up with a name for the band.




The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
On Topic: In the News - Race in America
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


Yea, I said it. Pass it on.