All The Black People Know And All The White People Don't: Richard Pryor On Killer Cop Choke Holds In 1978

"They don't kill cars. They kill nig-gas,..."

Richard Pryor Explains The Origins Of Black's Humor

Jerry Seinfeld On Race (Another Show About Nothing)

This is why Richard Pryor is the world's greatest stand-up - and not Jerry Sienfeld. 

This is why everyone alive can recite at least part of Chris Rock's "Black People Vs. Niggas" routine, but can't name a single Jerry Sienfeld bit. 

It's why most blacks have never watched a single episode of Seinfeld. 

It's why black people on Seinfeld almost always met a bad fate. 

And, of course, George Carlin was a comedic simpleton for observing, when white guys hang out with blacks, they also start acting like them - but not the other way around. 

Oh, and don't forget how pissed off the notoriously racist Paul Mooney got after he hired a lot of now-famous great white comedians for work with Richard Pryor but - because of attitudes like Jerry Seinfeld's - they made Mooney fend for himself when he went solo. 

All of it, stupid, pointless, and unimportant to comedy. 

Just like Jerry Seinfeld.

The Macho Response: Richard Pryor Let Mojo Handle It

Suck Up Skills (Or How Blacks Make Whites Better)

It was, Mooney says, the easiest bit he ever wrote. All he had done was spell out what had been going on beneath the surface of his “job interview” with Lorne Michaels and the NBC execs.

Just as Michaels had hoped, Richard’s appearance lifted “Saturday Night” out of the programming ghetto and established it as a cultural phenomenon. Two weeks later, Chevy Chase made the cover of New York magazine, which dubbed him “the funniest man in America” and quoted an unnamed network executive championing him as “the first real potential successor to Johnny Carson,” and predicting he’d be guest-hosting Tonight within six months.

Carson, understandably, offered a less-than-glowing assessment of Chevy’s skills. “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.”

Not A Democracy: I'm Michael Jackson And You're Tito

Red White And Blue White And Red (Nope, No Blacks)

It'll always be our fault - whatever it is - because we've been so well-educated and grown used to a life of security:

  “We’ve made progress on race, but racial issues still fester today. From Imus’ shocking comment about the Rutgers women’s basketball team to Riley Cooper’s and Michael Richards’ use of the N-word, we seem to be experiencing a time when individuals feel justified in making negative racial comments and blaming any damage those comments cause on people who are ‘too sensitive’ or who ‘take the comments the wrong way.’”

 Funny how it works out that way, with blacks outnumbered like 8 to one, hearing the same popular put-downs a billion times a day.

That's one way Americans aren't much different from the French,...

 

Dave Chappelle Is Obviously "Racially Vulnerable" And His Fans Are Obviously (And Actively) Driving Him Nuts

This is cruel.

Sorry but, other than Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor, I don't hear about a lot of comics dealing with this and the man is too important to let it slide:

“I'm watching Dave Chappelle quit stand up,” tweeted Lesli-Ann Lewis. “He's tired of White people treating him like he should shuck and jive.” Writing for Ebony, she expanded upon her use of that historically loaded phrase:  

Being in that crowd, a sea of drunk White male faces and seeing Chappelle sit there and be jeered at made me uncomfortable. Heckling isn’t uncommon for comedians but often when a comedian as famous as Chappelle puts their foot down, it is usually respected.  

While the racial makeup of the crowd was incidental, the way they treated Chappelle is not. It speaks to a long complicated history: the relationship between the White audience and the Black entertainer. This is a relationship you can easily trace to early minstrel shows, to archetypes of Blacks that still define the roles we’re offered today. 

One of the reasons Chappelle abandoned his sketch comedy series at its peak of popularity was that he grew uncomfortable with the response to his racially charged humor from white audiences. During the taping of an ill-fated sketch in which he donned blackface as a “black-pixie” who prodded black people to perform as stereotypes, Chappelle noticed that one white male audience member seemed to find it a little too funny. “When he laughed, it made me uncomfortable,” he said. “As a matter of fact, that was the last thing I shot before I told myself I gotta take fucking time out after this. Because my head almost exploded.” Lewis’ reading of last night’s performance seems plausible given this history. 

Why was the crowd so rowdy to begin with? Splitsider reports that fans were yelling well-known catchphrases from Chappelle’s Show “right off the bat,” and that it went downhill from there. (By most accounts, there was plenty of alcohol flowing as well.) Chappelle did a riff about Damon Wayans performing stand-up to a crowd that only wanted to see him do Homey the Clown—one of his signature characters from In Living Color—an apparent analogue to his own experience onstage last night.

I'm not too concerned for Chappelle - he's married, with a child, and has a good head on his shoulders - but he might need to re-think his relationship with America from here-on-out: 

 He's no longer the *blind* KKK leader they thought he was,...

 

It Looks Like We're The Chocolate-Covered Nut!

O.K., this is weird:

Along with a few of the others out there, our original Charlie Sheen post got quoted by an elegant blog called Right, Wing-Nut!

Here's what was written around our quote:

As a conservative, I should be horrified by Charlie Sheen. But as I said earlier, as a libertarian, I frankly don't give a f*ck about his wild behavior; he's nobody's role model save for his kids, and even that status is dubious.

But watching the flames fire out from his cocaine-fueled engine, I have to wonder: Are we so entranced by this spectacle because it is a "train wreck" in action, or because deep in our collective national subconscious, we respect a man who would rather burn out than fade away, a man who will live and die only on his terms, not "ours"?

...Some of us, sheep, willing to give up of freedoms for a little more security.

On the other hand, some of us have become...Tea Partiers. Another group of rebels, scorned by the media and loathed in polite society, who yet continue to push forward and succeed in their mission of taking our freedoms back. "Live Free or Die", and "Don't Tread on Me"....sentiments that Charlie Sheen espouses in his own sphere seemingly every five minutes.

And the media - despite their tongue-clucking at our imaginary excesses - cannot stop talking about us, even if only to vilify us. And our support within the nation, while not overwhelming, is strong - stronger than those who would dispose of us.

And maybe that is why I can't vilify Charlie. He may be dead by Christmas, but he went down fighting to be free, even if only to wallow in his own crapulence. We, too, are fighting every day - to avoid being part of a socialized nation ruled by scabby bureaucrats who will monitor our every move, but instead to be free men and women choosing to live and die as we choose.

Good luck, Chuck. You need it, as do we...

Ain't that the truth! So what's new? Well, after looking over some of Right, Wing-Nut!, we've found we agree with pretty much every political position it's blogger, The Jerseynut, has put out there! Which, even after seeing ourselves quoted positively, gave us a bit of culture shock - it's just never happened before.

So anyway, if anyone wants to see what our politics look like - without the artistic pretensions, crazy graphics, and swearing - we suggest you take a peek at The Jerseynut's site:

Right, Wing-Nut! was a real eye-opener, even to us.

UPDATE: We went back and changed the graphics on this post, because the Gene Wilder/Richard Pryor schtick seemed more appropriate.

News You Can Use (Starting With The Jews)

This is NOT NewAge shit here - it's a renegade Jew:

"Humanity lived in darkness—until He came. In the beginning only a few rallied to his cause. It was too enigmatic to arouse much popular support, and political opposition forced its champions underground. But a coterie of apostles resolved to spread a simplified version of his good news against stiff-necked enemies who often made martyrs of them. Then something remarkable happened. Thanks to a collection of gospels about his morality, the zealous devotion of followers and, of course, the obvious truth of his good news, his call for emancipation spread far beyond his native land and eventually set the world on fire.

This is how Jonathan Israel describes the message, and preaches the story, of a renegade Jew—the philosopher Benedict Spinoza. The creed Spinoza defended was the Enlightenment, with its devotion to reason, not faith, and its vision of secular liberation leading to the establishment of a society based on the collective good rather than the authority of kings and the tradition of priests. Yes, it's true that several centuries on, the Enlightenment has not yet succeeded in either breaking the shackles of outworn creeds or lifting the yoke of scandalous oppression across the globe. But this is no reason to surrender. More preaching of the gospel of Enlightenment is all that's required."

Alright, since everybody wants to do stupid shit, no matter what I say, I done got the message that y'all also must not want me to be the last holdout, so fuck it - let's get racial:

I do not play well with others.

White people pretend they your friend, or else they pretending the shit don't matter, which - if either one of those was true - they wouldn't be pretending. Then you got those fools for whom the shit really don't matter, but they going to go out they way to show you it don't - they think they mastered some kind of skill - so they hit you with some Master of the Universe shit, just expecting you to follow them around like a slave. It's bullshit.

Take it from me:

There's way more to this shit than just trying to make friends. White people are a god damn obstacle course.

Richard Pryor said white girls suck your dick real fast.

Brothers was listening.

Speaking of listening:

Tea Partiers, "Man's Best Friend" is Ice Cube's Second Amendment anthem from 1991; all the PC types attacked Death Certificate - a deeply conservative concept album (as all of Ice Cube's early solo albums were) DC was the last of the great ones - and it was declared a racist travesty that overshot the bounds of decency. Real Heads call it a Masterpiece, both for the carefully constructed, sample-based music and Ice Cube's attention to detail lyrically.

My God Mother was Ice Cube's art teacher, and she just told me she still has 40 original Michael Jackson albums from the '70's, that she's holding for me, all still in the plastic. Pretty cool, huh? This is cool, too - "Man's Best Friend" - Ladies and Gentlemen, Ice Cube:

Here's another topic I'm addressin
so learn a quick lesson, about your Smith and Wesson
Sit your ass back and comprehend
as I let you know about man's best friend
Now remember: it used to be a dog like Lassie
but now in ninety-one it's a gun if you asked me
Just like a jimmy hat's used for protection
I use my nine when suckers start to flexin
Cause if you run up and try to play mine
I'd rather have a AK than a fuckin canine
Cause if you shot your gun, and my dog tried to fetch her
me and the dog's goin out on a stretcher
And I ain't with that, so I gotta get that
big black gat, aim and I hit that
Forget about a dog fool, he'll shit in the den
Nowadays.. a gat is man's best friend

Here is the reason why Ice Cube pack
Just in case the little punks try to jack
I can't put a motherfuckin pitbull
under a coat, in the small of my back
So I gotta take my beretta, and I betcha
it'll probably work, a 100 percent better
Cause it'll keep me out of danger
with sixteen in the clip and one in the chamber
So this goes to all y'all intruders
Beware of the owner, cause the owner is a shooter
I don't just wanna give your ass rabies
I'd rather have your ass pushing up daisies
And I can't do that with Benji,
Rin Tin Tin, or Spuds McKenzie
Forget about a dog fool, he'll shit in the den
Nowadays, a gat is man's best friend

Just don't let me see you shoot no dogs!

Yes, being white is something you can learn, but it's better to be normal.

All white people should go to Stuff White People Like, find any part that pertains to them, and then stop that shit:

I know there's a human being in there somewhere.

White people trying to show they ain't racist is annoying.

O.K., this ain't racial, but FYI:

The Discovery Channel's Stupidity, Bill Maher's Religulous, and The Onion Movie are all available through Google Video.

You're welcome.

My band, Little White Radio, wasn't named Little White Radio because all but one of the members was black. It was named Little White Radio because that's what I glanced at when I was trying to come up with a name for the band.

Stupid niggers.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
On Topic: In the News - Race in America
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Yea, I said it. Pass it on.

The "Race" To The Bottom (Of The I.Q. Chart)

How come white people see things that other minorities don't see? White folks see all kinds of shit. U.F.O.s, monsters - the Loch Ness Monster, Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, Squaretoe, Little Pussy - you see all kinds of shit! I want one nigga to see one monster and be on the 6 o' clock news:

"I saw it. I saw the monster! I saw the 'Cornbread Monster'! He had great big ol' Black Eyed Pea eyes! Greens and shit hanging out his back!"

Let us see some shit just once!

And don't mention U.F.O.s, you guys - the white people are shaking their heads, but you know that's the damn truth - you guys see U.F.O.s in your goddamn sleep! And you know everybody relates to it, because white people always talking that shit - you so damn dramatic with the shit - you'll cry at the drop of a hat:

"(Crying) "Oh, you have to believe us,..you have to believe us! We were vacationing,...we were in the desert,...we saw something hovering,...we saw bright lights, we heard noises - shhh!"

Now when niggas see the shit you cross-examine them:

"You have to believe us,..we were in the desert,..."

"What were you niggers doing in the desert?"

"We were vacationing,..."

"Vacationing? You don't have jobs, how could you be vacationing?"

"We saw something hovering,..."

"It's those big, wide, nigga hats you wear."

"We saw bright lights,..."

"Highway Patrol!!! Get these niggas out of my office! Bring in some more truthful white people!"

{White people) "The aliens took us, they fucked us, they took us, they fucked us,..."

See, let some nigga aliens pick up some white folks they won't even talk about it:

""You were missing for three days!"

"I don't want to talk about, I don't want to talk about it,.."

Let's have that on the cover of the Enquirer: "Nigga Aliens Take White Family Away For Two Weeks - They Brought Them Back Beat Up!"

(White family) "They took us and they brought us back beat up! Those niggers beat us!"

We just don't see the shit y'all see.

It's too funny to me.

-- Paul Mooney, comedian - Richard Pryor's writer and frequent guest on The Dave Chappelle Show - from his 1993 album, "Race", available as an .mp3 on The War Of The Words.

Roger L. Simon: From Black Power To Blacklisted

"Blacklisting Myself details Academy Award-nominated screenwriter Roger L. Simon's odyssey from financier of the Black Panther Breakfast Program to darling of the political right. In this tale of Hollywood radical chic run amuck, Simon relates his adventures with Richard Pryor, Warren Beatty, Woody Allen and real-life Hollywood KGB officers. Among the topics covered along the way: the new blacklist for conservatives in tinseltown and how new media will destroy Hollywood as we know it."